Yuletime protest

With apologies to Clement Moore _

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all though the school

Not a creature was stirring, except maybe a tuition increase fool.

The Student Life building was planned with care

In hopes that board approval would soon be there.

The administrators were snug in their offices ‘twas said

While visions of fee increases danced in their heads.

And Henley with her briefs and La Tourette with his cap,

ad settled their plans with student fees taking the rap.

When out on the square there arose such a clatter

They sprang from the office to see what was the matter.

Away to the window they flew like the Flash

Tore open the shutters and threw open the sash.

MLK on the crest of new-fallen snow

Gave the luster of a mid-day protest below.

Then what to their wondering eyes should appear,

But a student protest which incited fear

With such passion, so lively and moot

Henley said to herself, “Oh shoot.”

More rapid that eagles their coursers they came

They whistled and shouted, said what they claimed.

To the top of the square with a lot of grumblings,

“If you think we’re going to pay for this you got another thing coming.”

To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall

The administration said, “This is not going to be a ball.”

As they drew in their heads and were turning around

Up to Altgeld the protesters were bound.

They were dressed in black, from head to toe

Coming to Altgeld to show they were P.O.’d.

And so in the end, the protesters left no doubt

That the new Student Life building is something they can do without.

But the administration after being reprimanded

Still hadn’t listened to what the students demanded.

The administration said in the wee hours of late,

“We’ll propose it again—after they graduate.”

oy Ramos


Political science/economics

College Republicans secretary