Book gives Nancy ‘little town blues’

By Bill Schwingel

It seems the puppetmaster’s strings have been clipped and once again she must play with only those things within arms’ reach.

Oh, Nancy. Life has been so hard for you—especially recently.

But life seems to be really sweet for Kitty Kelley since her book “Nancy Reagan: The Unauthorized Biography” was published and is selling like trashy romance novels.

Then again, according to Kelley, this might not be far off from the truth. Kelley claims that in her four years of research on the book she discovered a little indiscretion—Nancy had a fancy for Frank.

Yep, Mrs. President and Mr. I’m-not-connected-to-anything-illegal were allegedly doing some tap dancing around poor Ronnie, since 1970 when Ron ran for re-election as California governor.

So while Ronald smiled for the cameras, Nancy gleamed for Franky.

But then again, Ron is certainly no saint, or at least according to Kelley. Her book also claims Ronald wasn’t without wandering eyes.

It turns out Bonzo wasn’t a good enough companion in the movies so he headed for someone who could better fulfill his needs. But that’s OK because in the end, he at least got Nancy and turned out to be more like an ape than Bonzo.

The book also reveals what all who watched Ronnie work as one of our most popular presidents knew: there had to be someone else pulling the strings.

Big Boss Nancy even had to look at one of her faithful hubby’s agendas with Gorbachev before it could be confirmed. No doubt she needed to check the stars to assure herself her hair would stay up that evening.

But this makes her attachment to Franky that much more believable. A man like Sinatra could only be seen with a woman as clever and powerful as himself.

The Lady President would certainly fit the bill. But Nancy, if you’re listening—it was a dead-end affair from the start because you can’t be the lady behind the figurehead all your life.

He would’ve dropped you like a rock once your reign ended, and sorry to say it surely has ended. Well, not that sorry.

But perhaps this is all too harsh. Nancy is human too. She has feelings. She cares about the poor unfortunate souls who must go through life under subhuman conditions. Right.

And how does poor Ronnie feel? Well when asked in front of a church how he felt about Kelley’s book, he claimed it wasn’t the place to be discussing such things.

Then let’s go to the White House, Ronnie, but then again that has never been the place for you to talk about your indiscretions either, has it?

Shall we ask Nancy? Or better yet Frank? This could offer some interesting answers for some of your actions as president. If Nancy was pulling your strings, who was pulling hers?

Poor Nancy. Now she must live up to her actions. She must look in the mirror and say what many have been saying for years—yuck! She made the bed, now she must lie in it.

But the question that comes to mind is, whose bed is it?