All of us make unnecessary judgments, but we all have the ability to practice subduing them too. The next time you start to judge someone for something they love or a fandom they’re a passionate part of, stop and ask yourself why.
Is there really nothing you’ve ever been overexcited about? There’s no hobby, movie or band you just adore? It’d be a little creepy if you didn’t, and it’d be pretty creepy if we all enjoyed exactly the same things.
Psychologically, people make snap judgments in response to a survival instinct, according to a 2023 study led by psychologist and Columbia University professor Jonathan Freeman. In a given social setting, we tend to rely on subconscious information our minds have stored about what – and who – is more or less acceptable.
If we can’t immediately relate, or if we experience something we’re not used to, we often have the instinct to assume it’s less than whatever we already know we like.
But these snap judgments aren’t good; they’re not providing any benefits. In fact, Freeman’s study found they’re often tied to harmful societal prejudices, including racism, sexism and homophobia.
Before you judge, before you make a snarky comment or pocket someone in your mind as “weird,” check your biases. A lot of commonly judged fan bases have ties to minority or underrepresented groups, from the celebration of girlhood in feminist Swiftie fandoms, to the queer expression associated with cosplay.
These fandoms have also become exactly that, large groups of excited people because of shared positive emotions. As long as the uniting emotion isn’t hate – we’ll disregard certain political fanbases from this column – the group you’re wasting negative thoughts on probably represents something much more powerful than your judgment.
Zac Johns, a junior political science major, was first introduced to cosplay by his aunt, who has helped design Johns’ outfits. In the cosplay community, Johns found a shared love for creativity, and for the most part, he’s been able to enjoy cosplay without worrying about what non-cosplayers might think.
Johns has learned it’s important to enjoy what you enjoy and remember that when you’re part of a fandom – such as at a convention – no one’s there to judge. They’re all celebrating with you.
“I think that people that are kind of de-incentivized from doing cosplay because, or joining a certain, like, community of cosplayers, because they feel like they’ll get hatred or disrespect for it,” Johns said. “I think really you just have to follow yourself, and if you don’t feel comfortable doing it, then so be it. But if it’s something that you really want to do, then don’t afford people the time of day when they won’t give the same to you.”
Vice President of NIU’s Anime Association and senior geography major Martin Astter thinks most judgement of pop culture probably stems from ignorance.
“There’s definitely people, mostly people who, you know, just like I had, had never really, like, they’ve seen it (anime), but they haven’t really delved deeper than just seeing it partially,” Astter said.
That means it can be remedied with exposure, and fan-based communities like NIU’s Anime Association – which has been celebrating anime since 1999 – are all about welcoming rookie fans.
“But the thing is, like, anime doesn’t really discriminate,” Astter said. “I’ve never met a (interest-based) club or organization that has ever shut their doors. Their doors are always open. You guys just have to take the first step into that door.”
It’s also totally okay if someone else’s favorite thing doesn’t bring you joy or you don’t have a close relationship with anyone who does find joy in it. Like-mindedness goes a long way in building strong friendships.
But friend or not, each person who treats you respectfully deserves your respect back – both in your head and out your mouth.
It’s also okay if a biased thought about someone’s favorites enters your head. None of us are unprejudiced; we all have implicit biases.
But learn to stop yourself, recognize the thought, and let it pass.
Other than causing that person to feel bad about themselves, what effect will your judgment have? What value does it bring to the conversation or situation?
If you can’t learn to love what they love, learn to love that they love it. You may learn that smiling alongside someone else’s passion is a lot more fun than snarling at their happy place.
