Are you prepared for the end of the world?

Danny Cozzi

With less than a month until Dec. 21, it’s time we got serious: Are we prepared for the coming of the end of days? The apocalypse is lingering just around the bend, and we’ll have to be ready to experience some serious first world problems: No more iPhones, no more Netflix and no more Potbelly. I’m particularly depressed about that last one.

With the Mayan calendar winding down the final days of humankind, I can’t help but wonder: Will that fateful Friday put the world to rest once and for all? Some folks are expecting the North and South poles to shift and cause massive climate change. Perhaps a few politicians across the map will say, “Screw it!” and let the bombs fly. Or, my personal favorite, our dearly departed will get really freaking hungry and start gnawing on our faces. Oh joy. However, if we are in fact graced with a zombie outbreak, I’m not too worried. I’ve got a baseball bat next to my bed and have been following The Walking Dead for years. I don’t know about you, but I’ll survive.

Senior communications major Catie Duffy doesn’t buy into the Mayans’ prophecy, but still plans to celebrate humankind’s last night on Earth.

“I’m throwing a mega-awesome mega-storm party,” Duffy said.

Hopefully she plans on mega-boarding up her windows and stocking up on canned food to serve her guests while they ride out the real life experience of The Day After Tomorrow.

If DeKalb is in fact visited by a Category 15 hurricane, junior English major Kevin Malone humorously admitted he couldn’t come up with a serious survival plan.

But, Malone did mention one last wish: “I would love to go sailing, actually.” Perhaps a night on the sea is all anyone needs before being washed away forever.

However, despite all the media frenzy over the past few years, I’ve remained rather skeptical about any imminent destruction to Earth. In a YouTube video uploaded by JPLnews on March 13, Don Yeomans, manager of the Near-Earth Objects Program Office at NASA, responded to multiple cosmic theories regarding the Earth’s destruction on Dec. 21. Yeomans said, “The [Earth’s] magnetic field does shift from time to time, but the last time it did it was 740,000 years ago… And even if it did shift, it’s not going to cause a problem on the Earth apart from the fact that we’re going to have to recalibrate our compasses.”

I suppose as long as I don’t plan a hiking trip for the holiday weekend in the Yukon, I’ll be just fine.

But, science won’t be enough for everyone. So, if the world does end, and we are reduced to specks of cosmic dust in a few weeks, I suppose I’ll celebrate my last month on Earth by playing a few open mics and pigging out at Potbelly as much as my body and self-respect will allow.