A supreme waste of time

By Anthony Szudarski

All hail Vermin Supreme. Do I have your attention?

Now, with a name like that, I’m sure you’re thinking of some cartoon super villain—an oversized rat or something. That’s what I thought the first time I heard the name. Imagine my surprise when I found out that Vermin Supreme is a candidate for the 2012 presidential election.

Yes, it’s true: there is a candidate running for president of the U.S. who is named Vermin Supreme.

Now, if that doesn’t turn you astray, let me tell you more about the man behind the meme.

A self-described member of the “Pony Party,” Supreme has promised that, if elected, he would give every American citizen a pony and propose laws to promote good dental habits. Come on, how many of us really floss as much as we should?

If that wasn’t enough, he also wants federal funding for a full-scale government preparation plan in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Then he wants to begin researching time travel so he can… well, let’s just say stop baby Hitler.

He’s a little eccentric, to say the least.

This man isn’t new on the scene, either. He’s been on the ballot for president twice, and has run for other political offices. Great at causing a scene, Supreme was outside the Republican National Convention last month with protestors, giving speeches that promoted his candidacy. The old man spoke to the crowd while wearing a boot atop his head, as usual. If his speeches didn’t make you think he was crazy enough, his attire proves it.

Supreme is known to make a mockery of the political system, but who’s to say that what he’s doing is wrong? Sure, glitter bombing Democrat Randall Terry at a debate probably wasn’t the best way to make a point, but if you’ve watched it on YouTube, it’s pretty funny.

This is a man who’s not afraid to make a joke out of what he’s doing in order to show what’s wrong with the electoral system. He is showing people that anyone can run for office, but not just anyone can represent our nation.

He can make all the promises he wants about ponies and dental health, but how will he make good on them if elected? Is that what winning the presidency comes down to—making promises, looking good and talking about your underwear on MTV?

Maybe we’re all just too uninformed about our politics, and it’s men like Supreme who are trying to get us to realize that. By making a mockery of himself and the system, he’s really making a joke out of those of us who don’t care to know the candidates, the issues and what’s happening in our country.

If you learn anything from Supreme, I hope it’s this: Do research on the candidates. I know it’s easy (and entertaining) to just watch Stephen Colbert or Jon Stewart to learn what’s going on in the parties, but you have to remember they’re entertainers, not reporters.

Remember, a vote for Vermin Supreme is a vote wasted.