Do you regret your tattoo? If you Google the words “regret” and “tattoo” together, over 11.7 million hits pop up. In fact, 17% of those who ink up will eventually regret that permanent mark. Here’s another question, “Have you ever felt regret from a roommate relationship before?” Today, I offer a different perspective on how to approach conflict resolution by seeing that when we regret, we actually want to do better.

“Living together in a roommate situation is an important part of your college experience,” reads the Roommate Survival Guide on NIU’s Students’ Legal Assistance’s website. “It takes commitment, involvement and work to benefit from school. These same qualities are needed, if you want a good productive relationship with your roommates.”

Concerning commitment, “perfectionists should not get tattoos,” said Kathryn Schulz speaking at the 2001 TEDSalon New York talk. “We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things we create and to forgive ourselves for creating them,” Realize there may be lines that you don’t like, but that does not reflect negatively on the tattoo as a whole. Know that just as there exists no perfect tattoo, there exists no perfect relationship; there are only relationships.

While roommates can be the source of some discomfort and regret at times, while understanding their motivations and ideas show you are involved in their life and leads to growth in your relationship in the long.

Her own tattoo as an example, Schulz conveyed how “regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly. Regret reminds us we know we can do better.” Don’t let roommate problems stagnate into discomfort or regret, be proactive, seek help from the Roommate Survival Guide and you and your roomies will be happily enjoying the rest of the semester.

“Don’t be dismayed if you find yourself in conflict with your roommate(s),” reads the Roommate Survival Guide. Realize that if we have goals, dreams, or people close to us – be they friends, family, or significant others – we will and should experience conflict or discomfort at times. When this does occur, however, the online guide provides a nine-step procedure to resolving conflict and also “Rules of Successful Dispute Resolution” for NIU students alike. These ground rules provide a road map to perfecting your roommate relations based on realistic terms.

Perfection is ultimately a guise. And as Schulz said, perfectionists should not get a tattoo for the reason that they will never see their memorialized pictorial as truly perfect. Don’t be a perfectionist when it comes to your roommate. Be real in your commitment to realistic expectations, an effort to involve yourself in your roommate’s life, and work through conflict with humor while seeing the positive. Ultimately, if you ever regret your roomie – or tattoo – know you are wanting to do better.