I’m addicted to you being quiet

By SEAN KELLY

The Australian Associated Press reported Monday that “addiction” to social networking sites, such as Facebook and MySpace, is on the rise. And since Australia is nothing but a cooler version of America, we can assume that the same trend could be spotted here.

According to Julian Cole, the researcher who uncovered the trend, signing onto these Web sites is an “automatic and compulsive” behavior, with the afflicted signing onto their Web site of choice in excess of 20 times a day.

There’s no denying these sites are popular. I’ve checked my Facebook three times since the start of this column.

But before we jump to the “addiction” label, let’s consider this. After all, addictions are becoming very popular these days – people are addicted to exercise, vomiting, chocolate, shopping, sex, pornography, World of Warcraft, shoplifting and who knows what else. Folks feel left out if they don’t have that weak spot, the one thing they’re totally powerless against.

Addiction is a disease, after all. You’re not responsible for a disease. So who wouldn’t want to expand the definition of that disease to include the stuff they’d rather be doing? I’m sorry, officer, the doctor says I’m addicted to speeding. I’m sorry, professor, I’m addicted to video games and couldn’t do my homework.

With these “behavioral” addictions, it all depends on how you look at it.

Facebook addiction, for example, is highly prevalent among white-collar workers with a lot of access to computers. You say you’re addicted to Facebook. I say you’re a lousy employee. One of these viewpoints gets you counseling, the other gets you fired. Which one do you think people would rather have?

There’s a girl in your sociology class that you think is cute. You never talk to her, but you read her MySpace page three times a day. You say you’ve got a problem. Yes, stalker, you need to talk to other people.

The definition of addiction has gotten so broad that people have addictions they’re proud of. How often have you heard a girl say she’s addicted to shopping? They rarely sound like this is a tragedy. Our country is addicted to addictions.

If everyone’s addicted to something, then the idea of being addicted doesn’t mean anything anymore. So celebrate! You’re not addicted to anything. You just need to get a life.