Halloween—All Hallows’ Eve is probably one of the best holidays around. It’s non-denominational, non-political, it doesn’t discriminate according to age, race, creed or gender. It’s just fun!!

I mean what could be more fun than carving pumpkins, eating candy, dressing up and scaring the hell out of yourself and your closest friends?

The origin of this holiday comes from some different places. The ancient Celtic festival of Sambain, celebrating the end of the summer, was observed in Britain and Ireland on Oct. 31. This same day was also the eve of the new year in Anglo-Saxon times celebrated with burning huge bonfires that were meant to scare away evil spirits, for the day was thought to have special connection with the evil. Such pagan rituals such as these caused the Christian church to adopt the day as All Hallow’s Eve in preparation for the observance of All Saint’s Day. Today we just use the day as another excuse to eat too much, go to parties and send goofy cards.

Speaking of parties… I know there are some of you who have been invited to attend parties this weekend in which a costume is necessary. Let me offer you some suggestions on costumes just in case you are short on ideas—and money.

If you feel like going as a pretty but poor, sweet but dingy woman in need of a date Cinderella may be your costume of choice. Just get some rags to dress in, grab a dust cloth or feather duster, rub some cosmetic dirt on your face and you’re set.

Or if you’d rather go as a brainless dweeb who watches too much MTV and speaks in monosyllables, an evening as either Butthead or Beavis is your perfect match. All you need is jeans, some flannel and the ability to say “huh, huh” every other second. Heck if you have a good friend with the same ambition this would be a good buddies’ costume.

How about a costume that shows how truly pathetic you have become and go as a beggar? Just make a sign that says: “Will Party for Beer.” I doubt that this will get you any free beer or any costume awards, but it’s cheap and it’s easy.

Someone with no money to spend but who truly has the spirit of DeKalb has all they need for a costume right outside their doors. Grab some leaves and stick them all over yourself, mess your hair so it stands on end and go as “wind blown.” You might not get a date through this costume but you’ll get points for creativity.

For the more creative political types I suggest going as a member of the opposing party. Liberals put on a blue blazer and a red tie and you’re set, conservatives mess your hair and buy flannel. As they say, you can’t understand a man’s ways until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. Here’s your chance.

If you want to go as a tough guy who still gets beat up because your boss won’t let you properly protect yourself dress in green, get some construction paper cut out the letters U.N. and stick them on your back. Remember you’re a peacekeeping type so when people heckle you don’t fight back, just take it.

All you women out there that would like to scare the hell out of every man you meet dress up as a bride and keep repeating the word “commitment.”

For those of you who feel you have too many friends and wish to correct that very quickly my suggestion consists of only one word—Barney.

People wishing to be politically correct there is only one thing I can think of—stay home! There is absolutely nothing that will not offend someone, even if you go as yourself. Sorry.

Well here are just some goofy suggestions for those of you who are too lazy to think of something yourself. Now go out and have a very happy and safe Halloween.