beware Monday the 7th?

By Derek Wright

Today is the dreaded Friday the 13th. But what about those superstitions that didn’t catch on? Here are a few lesser-known, but equally as legitimate, terrifying theories.

-Revolving doors are a gateway to satan

See those spinning entrances to buildings like the Founders Memorial Library? That’s right, if you use them too often you’ll end up worshiping el diablo in a matter of years. Fact.

-People with two first names cause erectile dysfunction

Maybe it’s Ron Jeremy’s greatest feat. But those void of a surname are known to cause a void for others. Fact.

-Broken tibias ruin heisman campaigns

Yeah, we went there. Fact.

-Drunken vomit is magical

Coming home to find someone has puked in your room isn’t so bad. It means magical, talking unicorns will help you find a parking space before your next Monday class. Fact.