An economical engagement

By Stephanie Szuda

Why does a woman really go to college? Is it for a brighter future, to broaden her horizons or, let’s be honest, to get out of whatever town she lives in?

The money is where it’s at. A great, satisfying, well-paying job, or a man who can give you lots and lots of money.

That’s right, some women aren’t here for the education or the better job. They’re just looking to get their MRS. degree, a euphemism describing a woman looking to find some sap to support her.

A bachelor’s degree in May, the MRS. degree when she can get a poor lad to walk down the aisle.

Now usually they hunt for pre-med or engineering majors. That’s the jackpot.

Gentlemen, watch out for these girls. They’ll manipulate your naive little head right around. A bright smile and a flip of the hair and you may be smitten.

Hopefully, the gold digger is good looking. If she’s not, it may be better to lean her concentration to the education aspect of college. You know, just so she has something to fall back on.

Either way, they need to snag one now. They won’t be cute forever. They need to lock them down now, divorce them later.

After walking away with half of their worth and their dignity, they can settle in a swank new pad of their own.

How do they find these schmucks? How do they pick them out of a crowd? A man can be loaded, but it doesn’t mean he’ll spend all his earnings on her. There must be some kind of talent in being able to pick these fellas out.

We’ve all seen these girls work. They latch on fast. First, it’s a dinner here and there. A year into it and the dumb guy is shelling out the dough to buy her a new car.

Man, she would really like a new CD player to put in that new car, but working at that crappy retail store just doesn’t allow such luxuries.

Don’t worry honey, your man will get it for you.

Maybe they feel they’ve earned it. They’ve opened their hearts, not to mention their legs to them, the least they could do is open up their wallet to the gal, right?

To go to college just to meet someone so you can freeload off him is pretty absurd. Get a brain, some ambition and a job. To model yourself after a desperate housewife should not be a lifetime goal.

Besides, look at all the trouble they get in. Who wants that?