Unveiling the truth behind the goods

By Chris Strupp

Products have claims which consumers take for granted; sometimes we’ve even fallen for a gimmick. The Weekender staff is not one for being taken for granted. Recently, we gathered in a small room with our chemistry set in hand and – like a team of trained scientists – set out to prove or disprove these claims. Take a look at our findings now, because we know we’ll receive a call from NASA soon asking if we want to work for them.

Product: Taco Bell Value Menu

Claim: Items on the Value Menu will actually make you full.

Tester: Brayton Cameron

Expectations: No amount of $1 or $2 food items could satisfy my gargantuan hunger.

Findings: After consuming a half-pound bean burrito, a double decker taco and a spicy chicken burrito, I was full.

Thoughts: Even though I fasted all day, I was still full. Then again, anything down into my stomach would likely fill it up. I will admit several hours later I was not feeling too good about my decision to eat this Taco Bell food.

Product: Maybelline Express Finish Advanced Wear Nail Polish

Claim: The polish sets in 60 seconds.

Tester: Stephanie Szuda

Expectations: When first applying the polish, I thought there’s no way it will lose that wet shine in a mere minute. At the very least, it will smudge.

Findings: The wet shine quickly faded and I was left with dry, smudge-free pink nails.

Thoughts: A pretty good deal for the gal-on-the-go who hates to walk around with those awkward toe separators for five minutes.

Product: Rimmel Volume Boost Liquid Lipcolour

Claim: Boosts collagen in lips and makes lips appear 40 percent fuller.

Tester: Genevieve Diesing

Expectations: I didn’t honestly believe my lips would look 40 percent fuller – and the idea of it boosting my collagen is actually pretty scary.

Findings: It tingled a little bit, but my lips looked to be pretty much the same.

Thoughts: I think the glitter and shine of the gloss was supposed to reflect the light enough to make my lips appear fuller, but it was nothing more than an optical illusion.

Product: Crest Extra Whitening Clear Mint Flavor

Claim: “Helps the natural whiteness of your teeth come through.”

Tester: Richard Pulfer

Expectations: I’ve brushed my teeth vigorously with regular toothpaste to no avail. While the habit of regular brushing is looked upon favorably by both dentist and friend alike, my teeth have long lacked the natural sparkling glitter. Could this be the cure?

Findings: Three very stern applications of the toothpaste brought only marginal results. A fourth brushing didn’t improve the appearance much either.

Thoughts: Repeated use of toothpaste might yield more noticed results, but I lack the pure endurance for 10 straight doses of toothpaste. Perhaps a stronger person could have walked away with better teeth.

Product: Maxwell House Coffee – Rich Original

Claim: “Good to the last drop.”

Tester: Rocio Lopez

Expectations: I hoped the taste would remain the same in a period of one hour.

Findings: I went at it like a pro, smelled the aroma, had my coffee without the sugar or cream, swirled it with my tongue and found this coffee is dry and acidic, which is not a bad thing. Will the last cup be the same? No the last drop was bitter and lost the acidic natural flavor of the first cup.

Thoughts: Working in a coffee shop teaches you a couple of things. First, you learn what coffee should taste like and every other combination of beans, roasts, flavors and aroma. Second, the fresher the better. I hoped the last drop would taste as good as the first but it didn’t. Leave the last drop in the cup.

Product: Chips Ahoy! Original chocolate chip cookies

Claim: “1,000 chips in every bag,” the company’s former slogan.

Tester: Sarah Carnes

Expectations: I seriously doubted the claim of 1,000 round, delicious chocolate chips in every bag of Chips Ahoy!.

Findings: After a pile of disassembled cookie and an hour of my time, I counted a total of 937 chips in the bag of original Chips Ahoy! chocolate chip cookies. Darn it, only 63 off.

Thoughts: Though the number of actual chips falls short of the claim of 1,000, half and quarter chips probably fill that gap well enough for the claim to be at least semi-accurate. I definitely learned chip-counting is fairly subjective in nature.

Product: Pizza Hut Pepperoni Lovers pizza

Claim: More than 100 slices of pepperoni on said pie.

Tester: Collin Quick

Expectations: Upon opening the box, I thought, “No way are there more than 100 slices on this pizza.” Then I realized there were two layers, meaning I would have to dig through cheese and sauce to find out each individual slice.

Findings: 68 slices. A whole 32 slices short. Shame on you Pizza Hut.

Thoughts: I knew it was too good to be true, and I’m not even that big of a fan of pepperoni. While I’m not expecting some cook to count every slice, it would be nice to get somewhere in the vicinity of 90 slices. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so let down. Maybe.

Product: Dr. Pepper and Diet Dr. Pepper

Claim: “Diet Dr. Pepper tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper.”

Tester: Chris Strupp

Expectations: I have done this with products other than soda, and I have had a flawless record making the correct decisions. I thought I would take a drink out of one cup and know the difference right away.

Findings: I took a sip out of one cup, ate a snack to cleanse the palette then took a sip out of the other cup. And honestly, I couldn’t tell the difference.

Thoughts: Being a big fan of Dr. Pepper, I am glad the geniuses behind Diet Dr. Pepper could be so deceitful. Bravo soda scientists, bravo.

Product: Lay’s Potato Chips

Claim: “You can’t eat just one.”

Tester: David Rauch

Expectations: I’ve had experience with chips like this before with mixed results, but I didn’t have dinner or my daily handful of salt and oil. Bad news.

Findings: Victory! I walked out unscathed and still hungry. One chip gone, and the rest, as they say, is in the bag.

Thoughts: One of Brayton Cameron’s leftover chicken burrito’s helped me through it, but unless I want to retract this win over Lay’s, I can never eat another for the rest of my life.

Product: Wrigley’s Big Red Chewing Gum

Claim: “Keeps your breath fresh all night long.”

Tester: Matt Lee

Expectations: After chewing a piece of Big Red for four hours, I didn’t think my breath would stay fresh.

Findings: For nearly three hours, I chewed a piece of Big Red and with about an hour to go, my breath was still fresh. Now, ordinarily, I’d just wait for hour four, but I found myself suddenly craving an onion. One hour and a bite of an onion later, suddenly my breath wasn’t so fresh anymore.

Thoughts: OK, so maybe I cheated a little bit, but it does say it will keep my breath fresh all night. The gum doesn’t say I’m not supposed to eat anything.