LGBT relationships challenge couples

By Rachel Gorr

Dating is hard.

It’s messy, aggravating, exhilarating, exasperating and irritating. Want to make it even harder? Try being a homosexual person going through the same process in a society that often shuns such a lifestyle in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

Homosexuals are a small minority in this country, with population estimates ranging from 2 to 10 percent, depending on which study you read. As hard as it is for a straight couple to meet, it’s statistically harder for a homosexual couple to meet.

“A straight guy meeting a straight girl is statistically better,” said Tyler Lidner, a sophomore music major at Waubonsee Community College.

Lidner and his partner Tony Robertson, a junior psychology and sociology double major at NIU, have been together for 17 months. They met through the NIU chapter of PRISM, which is a lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender awareness and support group.

“We met at a community gathering,” Robertson said. “It’s where you just sit down, introduce yourself and socialize with other members.”

Both Lidner and Robertson agreed it can be a lot harder for homosexual couples to meet, especially in DeKalb. The major challenge was at “straight” bars. The pair said you don’t know who will get offended, and you just can’t make assumptions about a person’s sexuality.

“It is harder [for homosexuals to meet and date],” Robertson said. “You just can’t go to any old place or any old bar. You don’t know who will get offended.”

There are some places in DeKalb where lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people can meet people. PRISM sponsors many events, like community gatherings, where people can meet. Otto’s, 118 E. Lincoln Highway, also has a gay night on Wednesdays for people 21 and older. Going to events where sexuality isn’t really questioned can make the dating scene easier for many people.

“I think it is easier to meet people through a specifically stated venue,” Lidner said.

A major reason for this is comfort, namely the comfort of the couple and the surrounding community. Robertson said a lot of homosexuals in DeKalb prefer to go in Chicago.

“Most people end up going to Boys Town [in Chicago near Wrigley Field] because it is a more comfortable situation,” Robertson said. “People have more exposure to [alternative lifestyles] out there.”

Although there can be a lot of challenges for homosexual couples, their relationships aren’t much different than a straight couple’s relationship.

Junior sociology major Rachael Schneider met her girlfriend Michelle Mann, an Ohio State University senior sociology and women’s studies double major, in her high school choir and French class. She feels that, although the situation is different, gay couples meet much the same way as straight ones do.

“Relationships are hard for anyone,” Schneider said. “Sexuality makes it harder if people are not out to others about their sexuality, but my girlfriend and I are both out, so there remains only regular relationship stress.”

April is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Awareness month. Throughout the month, PRISM hosts a variety of events. A schedule can be found at www.niuprism.com.