Not being cynical about romance, really

By Leah Kind

I think I’m starting to get a bad reputation. You know the signs- people turn and look as you walk by. You overhear whispered conversations. Sky writers continually pass over your house and script messages. I think I’m slowly being pegged as that cynical girl who hates Valentine’s Day, romance and commercials that utilize sentimental plots or cute animals, and who occasionally mistakes cat ear medicine for eye drops. Well, as soon as I get back from the doctor to check on this sudden and mysterious onset of blindness, I want to explain that I’m so not that girl!

Here, I’ll prove it. In the spirit of all things sweet, romantic and achingly beautiful, I’d like to proudly announce the wedding plans of Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau, who have finally set a date and are to wed this spring! I’m so glad those two crazy kids … um, that that crazy woman and her former student, well … I’m so glad to see two people in love find each other after years of hardship!! OK, OK, granted, a lot of the trials and tribulations were caused by actual trials. But still, it’s nice when love can overcome the boundaries of age, legality, moral behavior and common sense.

I mean, did Romeo and Juliet let the violent dispute between their families stop them from getting together? No, they didn’t, and look how that turned out! Hmm, maybe not the best example. Well, what about the beautiful love between a boy and his dog in “Old Yeller?” Okay, then, what about in that old Paula Abdul video where Keanu Reeves likes her but she’s one of the “popular” girls, and he just wanders around his huge mansion all day, rubbing a bottle of milk against his face? They made it work, right after her video boyfriend conveniently drove his car off a cliff. See, I’m just a big softy at heart, nothing beats a good love story!

And the particularly icky type of bond between Mary Kay and Vili is sure to go down in the records as one of the greatest love stories ever. He, a mature 12-year old; she, his teacher, their love, the love that dare not speak its name before recess. These two were so in illegal love, that they went right ahead and conceived one of their two children in the backseat of a car when she was first released from prison on parole! If that’s not romance, then I don’t know what is.

It’s clear that these two are in it for the long haul. I just hope their love isn’t sidetracked by some of the relationship issues that can befall any couple. One can just picture the scene: “Honey, there isn’t anyone … younger, is there?”

The Northern Star recently ran an article about the unofficial rule which cautions against teaching assistants and students entering into relationships. And I couldn’t agree more! College kids are already far too jaded and cynical. To really capture the innocence of childhood, you need to date actual children, as Mary Kay was brilliant enough to realize.

So, in the spirit of embracing all things romantic and tender, I say, good luck to you, crazy teacher-lady! And good luck to you, confused and disturbed student-artist! After all, your relationship makes about as much sense as Keanu Reeves “acting” in a Paula Abdul video.

Columns reflect the opinion of the author and not necessarily that of the Northern Star staff.