America needs to worry less about trivial matters. A Maryland couple is suing Wal-Mart because an Evanescence album they bought from the retailer contained the F-word. Since their 13-year-old found this, and Wal-Mart supposedly only sells “clean” albums, the couple is seeking $74,500 in damages for themselves and other album purchasers. An MTV article said, “The [family’s] lawyer also reportedly said he plans to take the case nationwide, filing suits state-by-state, if necessary.”

If I had $74,500 for every time I heard that word, I’d be a billionaire. The fact that they’re taking court time away from other important Wal-Mart-involved litigation probably never occurred to the couple. Such as a sexual discrimination class-action lawsuit filed against Wal-Mart which may eventually include 1.6 million women.

The more I see, the more I am reminded of what Marlon Brando’s character from “Apocalypse Now” said before being killed.

“We train young men to drop fire on people, but their commanders won’t allow them to write ‘f***’ on their airplanes because it’s obscene!”

When crazy old Colonel Kurtz starts making sense, things are seriously wrong.

The F-word is our top priority? People are running planes into buildings! The war in Iraq has killed 1,300 of our people, as well as 100,000 Iraqi civilians, according to a study by an associate at the John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. The justification for that war keeps getting thinner as time goes on.

It is interesting that Bill Clinton was almost impeached for lying about a few sexual indiscretions. Bush has gotten us into a war that has killed thousands without any real weapons of mass destruction found, and he gets re-elected.

There is a pattern here. One Pew Research Center survey conducted after the presidential election asked people, “Which ONE issue mattered most to you in deciding how you voted for president?” “Moral values” trumped Iraq, the economy and the war on terror as the number one reason why people voted for whom they did. Generally, what people meant by “moral values” was gay marriage, abortion, stem cell research and so on. While these issues are important, can we please focus on the people who are trying to kill us?

Speaking of them, the Los Angeles Times reported on Nov. 4 that, “… the interim Iraqi government reported that approximately 380 tons of high-grade explosives had been taken from the al-Qaqaa facility after the fall of Baghdad on April 9, 2003. The explosives are powerful enough to detonate a nuclear weapon.”

We have no idea where these explosives are. Perhaps al-Qaida will give us some clue when the Sears Tower blows up.

Alcohol consumption on college campuses might also be considered a “moral issue.” According to ABC’s World News Tonight on Dec. 14, the federal government has spent at least $60 million on programs to prevent college drinking since 1991. Yeah, ask anyone at Molly’s or Bar One if the government has that under control. It makes me think of Doctors Without Borders. Their Web site says they can feed 200 children two meals a day for $35.

If we do not wise up, we may find that such misplaced priorities are not only obscene, they are deadly.

Columns reflect the opinion of the author and not necessarily that of the Northern Star staff.