I was watching an episode of “Sex and The City” the other night when suddenly, I couldn’t bear to finish it. For the gazillionth time in the series, a handsome, impeccably dressed young man had approached the show’s protagonist, Carrie Bradshaw, and whisked her off her feet with an incredibly charming, unrealistic pickup line. They began to dance to my favorite Otis Redding song. I turned it off. At that moment, the comparison of the show to real life was just too disappointing.

The fact is, you just don’t see romantic situations like that very often.

Perhaps it’s a side effect of living in our ultra-modern, materialistic society. In some ways, the idea of romance has just come to mean buying the object of our affection, well, more objects. To express our feelings, we rely on Hallmark. Has our society managed to turn romance into just another artificial sentiment? Sometimes it seems that way.

Today’s music is symptomatic of this. Hollow, impersonal junk has invaded our airwaves and has lowered our creative standards as a result. How are we supposed to interpret and communicate our own inspiration when our praised “love songs” aren’t any more sophisticated or passionate than the laments of Norah Jones?

As well as representing a lack of imagination, many of today’s lovers also fail to communicate their emotions well. Although modern technology has provided us with amazing means to reach one another, the ever-present gender communication gap is still wide open. The pressure men put on themselves to be “macho” hampers them from expressing their feelings freely, which can stifle otherwise enriching relationships. Much to women’s chagrin, this “manly man” ideal has been pushed further and further as time goes on. Men don’t cry, they don’t recite poetry and they don’t wear pink. Unfortunately, the paragon era of the sweet-talking Cary Grant and genteel Fred Astaire might be over for good.

Perhaps the most important casualty of this adieu to romance is dancing. Although people still do dance, this scene is not what it used to be. In clubs, the men lurk behind the bars and near the walls – they seem interested in dancing only as a form of a pickup. This is a sacrilege to romance because dancing is the most underrated form of communication available. To be able to dance with someone and truly enjoy it is to be able to transcend speech, harness a moment and rise with someone to a higher level of intimacy.

Old-fashioned romance is a much-needed break for our overstimulated society. Because people are so rushed to gratify their senses, be it with sex or with jewelry, we might never really experience the sweetness of our original motives. The charm and grace that good old-fashioned romance represents would be very attractive qualities for anyone to acquire, as well as much appreciated contributions to the dating world. By recognizing and enjoying the sensitivity we have, by putting personal effort into communicating and, yes, by learning how to dance, we can experience the kind of romantic joy that would make even Carrie Bradshaw jealous.

Columns reflect the opinion of the author and not necessarily that of the Northern Star staff.