Guy doesn’t get any after forgetting condoms at home

By Jessica King

One young couple was taken by surprise Sunday when the mood struck and Marianne Boeler and Josh Westington found themselves without a condom.

“I never thought this could happen to us,” said Boeler, a junior English major.

Westington, a junior visual communication major who has been dating Boeler for five weeks, usually carries “a bunch of condoms in lots of flavors.”

His friends affirm this.

“Yeah, Josh is always bragging about how many condoms he carries, but I think they’re always the same ones,” said Mark Oshimi, a senior biology major and Westington’s best friend.

Boeler and Westington debated about having unprotected sex before having to leave Westington’s apartment unsatisfied.

The couple vows never to be caught in the same situation again.

“This really sucked,” Westington complained.

Editor’s Note: The information in the previous story is fictitious.