‘Stealing Harvard’

By Kelly McClure

Sometimes a movie can leave you speechless. Be it for the depth of the story, the soaring soundtrack, the vivid photography or simply because it is so stupid that there are not enough words in the dictionary to describe it to the fullest degree.

“Stealing Harvard” left me speechless.

An avid movie goer sometimes can become jaded and hard to please. They’ve seen everything and are familiar with every plot twist. Therefore, they are very rarely tickled by any major motion picture. Regardless of these circumstances, even the most mundane films can turn around and prove to be a rip-roaring riot if done properly. And then sometimes they just suck.

Starring Jason Lee and Tom Green as unlikely friends John and Duff, the “plot” of “Stealing Harvard” revolves around John (Lee) who is soon to be married to his boss’ daughter.

Having just saved enough money to put a down payment on a home, John is hand-delivered a cause for alarm when his white trash sister reminds him of a promise made long ago to pay for his niece’s college education. The punch line is delivered when the university of choice turns out to be Harvard.

The presentation of such a debacle is intended to fill audience’s hearts with quizzical empathy for poor, sad John. “What will he do? How will he ever come up with the money?” The scene continues with a quick fix placed to elicit laughter and hilarity. But the actual reaction received by the audience is a blank stare pointed at a large silver screen while waiting patiently to laugh.

Jason Lee, who has lent his comedic skills to such films as “Mallrats” and “Chasing Amy” can usually be counted on to carry any movie to cult status. By expressing emotion with the use of rapid gestures and screechy one-liners, he has carved himself a place as the proverbial golden boy of the comic book generation. Let’s hope that this film doesn’t put a bruise in that peach too soon.

Green plays Duff, “the hapless best friend character,” which is an unfortunate gimmick used too often in comedies. It is sadly the only giggle-worthy aspect of this pile. With his signature gawky form slightly transformed by a false overbite and an odd accent that is hard to categorize, Duff is the equivalent of a classic Bugs Bunny cartoon, in the sense that you know when and where he will outsmart Elmer Fudd but you laugh when it happens anyway.

Compared to things that are funny, such as strangers tripping and falling right in front of you, crazy homeless people shouting obscenities while walking down the street and drunk sorority girls making fools of themselves on TV, “Stealing Harvard” isn’t funny. But, compared to something like oral surgery or a midterm in Italian class, it’s like liquid laughter. It’s all a matter of perspective.