Even though I am completely immersed in the national news scene, I am still floored every morning by some random news story.

Last week, I nearly died laughing at a piece by the Associated Press about a man who wanted to teach his hunting dog to be comfortable around the sound of a shotgun. In the midst of this lesson, he shot his friend in the foot with one of the blanks. It was uncertain whether the dog learned his lesson.

And just yesterday, equally as entertaining, I read another AP story about a man so immersed in himself that he wants to pass a law to ensure everyone knows his name.

Well, that’s not exactly the language of the proposed amendment, but the idea and the reasoning are the same.

The Associated Press reported that the Rev. Jesse Jackson Jr. proposed an amendment to the Constitution to ensure what many Americans think they already have: the right to vote.

Under Jackson’s amendment, U.S. citizens aged 18 and older would have the right to vote in any public election where the citizen resides.

Wow! What a novel idea! Why didn’t anyone think of that before?

Wait a minute, someone out there already did … 231 years ago for all males and just 81 years ago for females.

The 15th Amendment was passed in 1870. It says:

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of race, color or previous condition of servitude.

And, the 19th Amendment was passed in 1920 saying:

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.

Since I was a wee little tike in the second grade learning about our presidents and our government, I knew that when I hit the age of 18, I would have the government-protected right to vote. How did I know this? Mrs. Petruccelli told my class about the 24th Amendment, which was passed in 1971.

Why in the world do we need another amendment telling us that we’re assured the right to vote?

My first hunch is that Jackson is in desperate need of publicity. He wants to be the champion of the people’s redundant rights.

If he doesn’t get this one passed, he’s going to have to go sell beer with his brother.

Are any of you really worried that you don’t have the right to vote?

If you are, walk/run/drive yourself to your local bank, driver’s services office or city hall and tell them you want their personal assurance that you can vote.

They might give you a funny look because of the psychotic expression on your face, and then they’ll nervously ask you for some forms of identification just to make sure you’re a human and a citizen and of age before they walk you through the process of voter registration.

Trust me, they’re nice people, I checked this one out.

A second idea is that there is a wave of unnecessary paranoia crashing over our country faster than the gas masks are flying off the shelves.

Because of security measures supported and enforced by our government, people are feeling like they’re being watched; like the government wants to delve into every aspect of their lives.

Before you know it, the little men that are sitting in the basement of the broken Pentagon listening to your phone conversations and reading your e-mails will begin multiplying. And then they’ll start oozing through the vents into the outside world and feeding on the brains of our Congressmen and representatives.

I can hear them now!

The people are sheep! YOU and only you rule the country! They don’t deserve the right to vote! Big Brother is watching. Take away the vote! Feed me, Seymour! Al Gore is God!

Well, maybe that last one was just a bad rerun on PBS.

To all y’all out there that are so worried about Big Brother in the United States, GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE!

You — yes, you! What are you doing? The teacher is trying to get your attention! — are definitely not at the top of everyone’s priority list.

Something tells me we have bigger problems right now and that America doesn’t really care how much weed you smoke when your parents go out, who or what you are sleeping with, or why you turn your underwear inside out instead of washing a load of laundry.

Why would the Senate want to take away your right to vote? We’re the reason they have a job. We’re the reason they get paid so well. We’re the reason Al Gore isn’t clogging up the White House sinks with his sporadic shaving habits.

Be realistic. Be sensible.

This amendment would be a waste of our time and our tax dollars. And I’m not willing to allow bored media-mongers and rebel-rousers to invade my busy schedule or my bank account.