‘Twas the night before my column was due, and I was a wreck. How to live in a world that’s politically correct?

This thorn in my side has plagued me too long. How could one simple word create such a throng?

Ah, political correctness, the recent indigestion on my menu.

In my last column, I apparently offended members of the community with my use of the word “pansy.” I was completely unaware in my use of the word that it was a derogatory reference to gay men, and I am sorry if it was misconstrued to the point of insult.

But, from this one word out of a column on patriotism, I was labeled a homophobe who discourages gays and women in the military. I didn’t even address this issue in my column, so someone spent way too much time reading into the word “pansy.”

For the record, I would encourage all men and women of all walks of life who are so inclined to defend our great nation to do so in any way they (legally) can, whether that be in the armed services or another venture.

I repeatedly was chastised with the idea that I “should have known better” because of my position as a journalist.

How fair is that?

There are so many words and phrases out there that offend one group or another, and all of a sudden because I take a job at the paper, I’m supposed to know every single one of them?

I can’t even keep up with fashion, and that’s in my face every day. I can’t keep a database of every common word that’s been converted into offensive slang, and neither can you!

If I said I took serious offense to blonde jokes, people would tell me I’m being overly sensitive.

The Chicago Tribune reported that realty professionals in various parts of the country had been told the term “walk-in closet” is unacceptable because it discriminates against wheelchair-bound persons, and that “master bedroom” likewise suggests slavery.

And here on our own campus, it has been determined that the word “dorm” carries negative connotations, and that we should from now on refer to them as “residence halls.”

How is it that early man & excuse me, early person & would go through the pangs of creating and shaping language to communicate complex thoughts and ideas with the world, only to see it being chopped down in the 21st Century by a civilization so worried about stepping on other’s toes? Who has the right to cherry-pick the words and phrases that are acceptable in society?

How did we pervert the English language with disparaging meanings for common, seemingly benign words?

In actuality, we didn’t. Someone, somewhere decided that the word “pansy” was negative toward homosexuals. They decided they didn’t like the word and no one else should either.

One person decided what was best for the masses without the people’s input. This kind of selfish thinking leads to the decline and fracturing of societies. It falls directly in line with the fallen dictatorships of the former Soviet Union and the former Yugoslavia.

Does anyone remember the mantra, “No taxation without representation?” This is the kind of stuff our country was built on.

And then there’s the flip side of political correctness.

Once upon a more enlightened time, words like “n——-” and “f———” were considered by all to be so inflammatory because they carry with them a long period of American history characterized by oppression and hatred.

But on Friday I opened my e-mail to a response from a gentleman who described himself as “one pissed off f——-” who justified his use of the distasteful remark by saying: “I can use this word because I am one.”

How ignorant.

In his quest to educate, he perpetuated the very language and ideals he seeks to eradicate. Quite the vicious cycle.

No single man or woman (womyn, if we’re being PC) has the right to limit the language of the mass.

Unless plain speaking is allowed, clear thinking is denied.