Sliders can make dating hard to swallow

Going away to college is quite possibly the greatest way to satiate your dating appetite, but you have to know how to go out and dine in style.

You’ve made your way through that cafeteria line unfulfilled — which somehow resembles the kind of relationship choices you are limited to in high school — and, when you stand back and take it all in, every selection looks greasy and capable of triggering a fit of dry heaves.

The reputation of dorm food may travel faster than your mailbox can fill up with college catalogs of beautiful campuses and even more beautiful people. If you weren’t convinced before that your dating diet was looking good, you’re at least willing to give it a taste.

So, you graduate, you put on your Love Potion No. 9 and your black party pants, and you prepare to dine on a whole new smorgasbord: the college campus.

Popular culture would tell you that finding a quality date is as likely as getting hit on Annie Glidden Road these days; you step outside your hole-in-the-wall room and WHAM! You got a date!

Common sense and hopefulness would tell you that, while it might just be co-ed urban dating myth, there might be some substance to it. After all, folklore is based on something real, right?

I’m here to tell you that college dating can be like college dining.

Sometimes you get a lovely evening dining out at the Hard Rock Cafe.

A Hard Rock date is fun, stylish and glamorous. You easily can get swept up in the sheer momentum, but it’s overpriced and overrated.

Other times you get White Castle.

Anything named a “slider” should tell you everything you need to know. Sliders are typically the people you meet at Amnesia or at a drunken Greek

party.

It may satisfy the hunger pains, but it’s not going to be good, and you may have to watch as the nasty remnants come back to haunt you followed by the bad date after-taste.

These dating experiences are everywhere. At times, they can even be fun, but they’re not designed for the long haul. Repeat offenders of the White Castle or Hard Rock dating style will inevitably get a form of relationship indigestion.

The elusive Great Date is as likely to fall in your lap as is the chance of my Dallas Cowboys winning the Super Bowl this season.

I seek the Applebee’s experience; a comfortable atmosphere, a variety of choices, the food is decent and there’s always something around to keep you entertained and engaged. An Applebee’s relationship is laid back and fun.

The ratio of men to women at NIU is 45 to 55 percent, so I’m sure there’s an entire campus of possibilities out there. I see them everyday walking to and from class: beautiful, intelligent, single people everywhere.

Is this as good as it gets?

I refuse to believe I’m destined to carry antacids in my purse throughout my dating years.

I’m told the trick is to set your standards high and never settle for anything less. Meet people with common interests and similar lifestyles.

If the soup’s too cold, send it back. If the cook throws a fit, leave and never look over your shoulder.

It’s a big enough campus and we live in a big enough world. You’ll eventually run into that person that makes your eyelashes flutter, so why waste your time, money and good cologne on a person that makes your toes curl.

With time and patience and a taste for quality, you can spend your best dating years dining in style.