In an effort to solve some of the university’s burning issues, I have come up with two suggestions. One about speech and one about the geese.

1) Language has been recognized as the key to a culture. It reflects people’s beliefs and understanding of their world. As such, it was only a matter of time before someone used it to try to change people’s beliefs and control their thinking. These people, who would have you say the right thing at the right time, will be the downfall of our society. This is so because they foster compliance without questioning. Without questioning we cannot have innovation, understanding or progress.

It would be far better to address the issue of discrimination at the source than to force people to veil how they feel under needless writing criteria. Mandatory formulas are more likely to reinforce the hatred the person feels for the group discriminated against. It makes people with certain ideas outlaws in their own society (and takes away their freedom to believe what they wish). Once ideas become outlawed, the people with those ideas become outlaws.

A better solution would be to bring the language out in the open. Eradicate ignorance with knowledge and persuasion rather than a mandatory formula. Language is incredibly flexible and will change when attitudes do. However, always willing to try new things, I have adopted some words that may need to be changed.

A) Commandment—As you will note there are two male dominant terms in the word. Man must be changed to person and men to people. Compersondpeoplet—There is still a male dominant term here—son—we must change this to child in order to be “PC”. Comperchilddpeoplet—Boy is Moses rolling in his grave.

B) Mandate—Should be changed to Perchildseriousrelationshipstarter.

C) He—Should be changed to she/he/it/whatever (that should make for a shorter paper).

D) Department—Malgenderactivitypeoplet.

2) Once the geese go, I feel we should also get rid of the freshmen (sorry freshpeople). After all, the freshmen spread disease (some probably much worse than the geese). They are messier than those here a while (just look at their dorms). They are more likely to destroy grass by walking off the paths.

In an effort to eliminate these problems at our campus and keep it beautiful, the freshmen must go (or for an alternative we can just get rid of all wildlife).

I know this is a rhetorical question, but do people think about what they are asking or just react to something they don’t like? Please, don’t try to control thought. It is a short jump from mandating the words you must use when writing to make the people who don’t believe in those words criminals.

The lagoon is a great place to relax. If we truly want to get rid of geese droppings, why not spend a little money and have someone clean them up, rather then move the geese, which add to the park.

Dave Wambold

Law