In the U.S., approximately 40% of children will experience a parental divorce by the age of 18.
Being one of those kids, I would say the divorce played a significant part in how I grew up through life, especially with how I interact with my parents. Divorce not only shapes the living arrangements but also the dynamics of a family.
If you were ever so lucky to have your parents split custody of you as a child, you may remember being able to see your one parental figure on weekends or any day specifically designated by the court.
For me, that was my dad. Growing up, that meant me being able to see him a majority of the time on the weekend. That limited time we had together weakened our relationship. The ordinary things that helped a child build a bond with their father, such as help with homework, family dinners or just talking about life, were reduced to weekly visits.
It made it harder to build a strong relationship, and at the time, I felt somewhat disconnected with him. But despite that, he still showed up for all my sister and I’s birthdays, graduations, recitals and more. He actively tried to be a part of our lives.
As I got older, my relationship with my father became something I learned to appreciate even more.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 17.6 million children live without a father figure in their home. That void in the household can bring a boatload of problems for a child’s emotional development, such as anxiety, social withdrawal and depression.
This is why it’s important to realize how important fathers are. While families can absolutely thrive and have a loving relationship with their parents without having a father, such is the case with children having same-sex parents or single mother households, fathers can still be a powerful and positive influence in a child’s life.
Aidan Penca, a sophomore electrical engineering major, believes having a father figure is important for guidance in the world.
“I think it’s very important to have a father, because if you don’t have one, you can feel very lost, you don’t know how the world works, and you just kind of don’t connect with it. But at the same time, I think there can be certain fathers that reinforce negative behavior. It’s more so like a personal thing where you kind of have to understand that you want to do the best for who you’re raising,” Penca said. “I think about how my dad was, how he’s very unavailable, and how, when he was there, he was kind of terrible. And I think about that and realize that, if I ever have kids, I want to raise them in a world that’s better than my dad.”
If you grew up with a dad who showed up, supported you or tried, that’s something to be grateful for.
I am lucky enough to have a present father in my life and he made an active effort to be in my life. Not many people are able to say the same. That is why we should appreciate the fathers who step up. Whether they are biological dads, stepdads or any kind of father figure.
If you are a father, it’s important to stay in your child’s life as you have the opportunity to be one of the most powerful influences in your child’s life. And if you happen to have your dad in your life, don’t take it for granted, give him a call sometime.
