In dedication to Dr. Seuss

Now gather all students and listen to me

A story I have will delight—guaranteed.

A weekend, a party, a bar and some beer

Some students, some townies who all gather here.

Joe Farmer was sitting with three Miller Lites

The corn is all dry and the harvest, it bites.

The wife and the kids are all kicking and screaming

That Daddy does nothing but burping and drinking.

So trying to hide from the troubles he had

He noticed a student who thought he was bad.

His greek letters blazing and girls all gazing

Made farmer Joe yearning to give him a hazing.

“Sure you look pretty with girls and bread

But really you’re sickly,” Joe Farmer said.

“I’ll beat you and squash you like dough on a rock

And classes and money won’t help you a crock.”

So Joe Farmer stood with a bit of a quiver

He walked toward the boy with a fist to deliver.

Joe pushed by a girl to give the boy irk

Went up to his face, said, “Kid, you’re a jerk!”

“Yo, townie,” the boy said. “You look real drunk

Go back to your farm and your corn and your truck.”

The boy looked around while he laughed with his buds

But when he looked back, his face felt some thuds.

Joe Farmer was pounding away with his fists

The bar crowd was cheering, the bouncers were pissed.

The frat brothers charged to protect their own kind.

And townies jumped in with their own ax to grind.

Beer bottles, shot glasses, barstools and darts

Pool balls and pretzels and some body parts.

Bartenders swearing and girlfriends cheering

Nobody hearing while music was blaring.

And still in the middle were frat boy and Joe

Looking for places to put their next blow.

But then came some flashes and colors galore

It looked a scene on Amnesia’s dance floor.

Smoke filled the room and everyone froze

And when it all cleared, a hippie arose.

He stood on the bar and spread out his hands

He opened his mouth to give out commands.

“Why do we fight like we don’t know each other?

We all are a family, sisters and brothers.

Farmer or doctor, why should one care?

So all take it easy and order a beer.”

Joe looked at frat boy, and frat boy looked back

They put down their fists and stopped their attack.

And everyone knew that all had gone wrong.

So all joined hands, and sang a peace song.