If there is something most humans crave it is a romantic relationship, a kind of connection where someone makes us feel valued and understood. Humans long for the kind of closeness that romantic relationships give. A romantic partner can make life a little more meaningful.

But when it comes to dating apps and matchmaking platforms, they wrongfully capitalize on that craving. They promise to give you a connection with someone, but they deliver on that promise in the worst way possible.

While I admit there have been cases of success where people have found relationships on dating apps, platforms like Hinge, Tinder and Bumble manipulate and teach users to objectify and look at the materialistic aspects of a person over who they actually are.

These dating apps treat people as commodities, as if they are a menu item people can pick and choose from. Instead of encouraging people to form natural bonds built through shared experiences, people are essentially encouraged to “shop” for their potential partner based on a few photos of how they look.

I think the time people spend swiping and going through these platforms makes them forget these accounts belong to real people who have feelings.

When it comes to humans wanting to find an ideal partner, it’s human nature to be incredibly  materialistic. We think of a potential match’s looks, how much they make and their status in life because when most of us date we date to have a life partner.

Now, I’m not asking you to date someone you aren’t attracted to, but I’m asking you to look past these materialistic qualities. The truth about these platforms is that they play on this innate quality in us to get us to use their apps. But looks, how much a person makes and the status of life they are in is temporary.

What will last and what you should look for in a partner are the invaluable qualities in a person.  Look for someone who makes you feel understood, valued, supported and loved in a way no kind of material asset could give you.

Dating is hard, nerve racking and scary; and while dating apps may try to give you an easy way out, it makes it harder. Love can’t be found in a few swipes on your phone. It can be found through patience, vulnerability and time. That is something no matchmaking algorithm will help you with.