Domestic violence is the most common and least reported crime in America.

An estimateed three to four million American women are battered each year by their husbands or partners, according to the National Woman Abuse Prevention Project.

And while some might think domestic violence only applies to married couples, the term fits violence in any domestic setting. “Domestic violence takes place between two people in an intimate blood or domestic setting,” said Sylvia Lee-Thompson, adult services coordinator at DeKalb’s Safe Passage shelter.

Physical beatings, hair-pulling and forced sexual contact all classify as domestic violence, but so do threats, verbal abuse and other emotional intimidation, Lee-Thompson said.

Continual “put-downs sometimes can hurt even worse than someone slapping you on the face,” she said. “It’s definitely a control situation.”

Ninety-five percent of domestic violence is aimed at women, Lee-Thompson said. “There are men who are abused but it’s probably only 5 percent or less,” she said.

Typically, men are the abusers in violent relationships. Factors contributing to male violence include alcohol or drug use, inability to constructively deal with anger, stress, intimacy or jealousy, a family history of abuse and a society that accepts and even glorifies violence, Lee-Thompson said.

Abusive relationships occur in every race, class and educational background. Statistics show one out of every two marriages have an element of violence.

Despite this, women often stay in abusive relationships . Reasons often given are that she loves him, she’ll stay for the children’s sake, he provides financial security, she hopes he’ll change, fear of living on her own and he threatens to come after her if she leaves.

“I think people tend to say, ‘my situation is as bad as that person’s'” Lee-Thompson said. “I’ve heard women say, ‘it’s not that bad – he’s never broken any bones.’ Or, ‘it’s not that bad – he’s never beat me unconscious.'”