In the latest issue of ROLLING STONE, the writers went poll happy. Remember the top 100 albums of the last twenty years? Well, this issue contains yet another useless poll, the top 100 albums of the 80’s.

Someone at ROLLING STONE seems to be Prince happy; every other entry, it seems, belongs to him. This poll is essentially the best selling albums of the year coupled with so-called “hip picks” scattered about sparsely.

The top spot is occupied by The Clash’s “London Calling”. This is by far one of the better decisions they have made in close to ten years.

“London Calling” was the precursor of the hard alternative rock to come in this otherwise rock-less decade. “London Calling” defined what great rock was about in the eighties.

I’m not a Prince fan, but “Purple Rain” is a great album. However, I do not believe it merits the number two position. There aren’t enough words of praise. There are plenty of other albums that could be put into this position , but we’re dealing with ROLLING STONE.

The third best release of the eighties is “Joshua Tree” by U2. (Like I have to tell you that.) It is their best selling album to date , but by no means their best album. How soon they forget the impact of “Boy” and “October”. Musically this album does not deserve this distinction, but as financial success goes, it does.

After three commercial successes, I was surprised to see the Talking Heads worst-selling album come in at number four. This is truly a great album, but it is once again a matter of opinion as to whether or not it belongs in the top ten albums of the eighties.

The critics dream, (which explains why I always fall asleep listening to it) checks in at number five, Paul Simon’s “Graceland”. Boring.

AHHHHHHH!!! I really can’t believe “Born in the USA” by uhh, who does it?, Oh yeah, Bruce Springsteen. There aren’t enough unslanderous words which I could use to desribe the man who occupies the sixth spot. I’d rather not waste my time.

By the time I got to the seventh entry, I lost total interest. I realized that all this poll melarky was a big joke. I could write forever about why I think this album should go here and this album should go there and so on.

There are selected people who have the power to make decisions in polls. I, as a critic, have this power, and the power to abuse it. So you guessed it—here we go with yet another stupid poll. The top 10 albums of the eighties:

1.Murmur/R.E.M.-This is the perfect album.

2.Back in Black/AC/DC-Power,sheer power!

3.Zen Arcade/Husker Du-Alternative answer to the Who’s “Tommy”

4.Madonna/Madonna-She’s really hot, so why not?

5.Kill ‘em all/Metallica-Redefined metal for the eighties.

6.Empty Glass/Pete Townshend-Still the best songwriter.

7.Mother’s Milk/Red Hot Chili Peppers-Butt-Kicking funk.

8.Surfer Rosa/Pixies-New genre altogether.

9.Tim/Replacements-Beer drinking songs abound.

10.Throb Throb/Naked Raygun-Chicago’s answer to anything.

You may or may not agree with these picks, but I’m the critic and I have this overwhelming power to regurgitate senseless polls. I am, however, curious about your top picks of the eighties so feel free to send away.