Okay—it’s an album about Gumby.

It’s called “The Green Album.” That’s actually kind of funny.

If I use this space to say what I actually think of this album, I’ll probably get sued, so here is what I’m going to do: I’m going to open-mindedly discuss each song as an individual musical achievement, completely ignoring the fact that each one is based on a smiling piece of green clay.

First, however, I have to explain why I dislike Gumby so much. I just can’t shake the feeling that if Art Clokey had just left the Play-Doh alone, we wouldn’t have the California Raisins on TV today. I suppose it could be worse. This album could be about those happy little raisins.

So, anyway, “The Green Album” opens with “(In Love) With You Gumby” by Moon and Dweezil Zappa. This typical “rock-n-roll” song embodies the theme of the entire album: it wouldn’t be that bad if it didn’t use the G-word.

eggae and Zydeco fans get “Concrete and Clay” and “Zydeco Gumby Ya Ya,” by Eddie Wade and Brave Combo, respectively. “Concrete and Clay” isn’t all bad, but “Zydeco Gumby Ya Ya” is absolutely ridiculous.

Most of the songs are pretty pointless. We’ve got “Bend Me, Shape Me” by Donna McElroy, “Gumby, We Love You” by Sly and Robbie, “Pokey’s Polka” by Brave Combo, and “We are All Gumby” by Flo and Eddie.

Believe it or not, there are a couple of gems on “The Green Album.” The Don Pardo-like narrative of Rick Schulman’s “The Ballad of Gumby” is pretty funny. “I Like Gumby” by Jonathan Richman is mighty good, too.

I don’t want to seem overly negative, but I thought the big Gumby re-hash died out a couple of years ago. I picture “The Green Album” getting a lot of airtime during pre-school nap hours. If you’re a really big Gumby fan, this might be a funny album to buy, but if you want a “funny” album, The Village People’s Greatest Hits strikes me as a much more practical impulse-buy.