I have several theories about college students.

Yes, there are the obvious ones that deal with beer, sex, finals and general uninhibited nakedness, but there are also theories buried way deep down under all those other theories that you may have never considered before.

There is even one that is suitable to be heard by kids of all ages. It’s called the “Grinch’s Dog” theory and it goes something like this:

It’s a cold, blistery night in early December. An accounting major gathers his boat shoes, Guess jeans (plug), and $12 haircut and gets ready for the nightly pilgrimage to our own Founder’s Memorial Library. (Is that a plug, too?)

Here, he plans to take on the guise of a serious student, but will most likely end up hopping from table to table socializing like everyone else does in that place. Maybe they should rename it Founder’s Memorial Lounge and Piano Bar.

Anyway, Winston (You have to have a name that looks good next to “Chairman of the Board” if you want to be any kind of business major) hops in his car and cruises to the friendly neighborhood frathouse to pick up one of his accounting cronies. Those accounting bullies always hang in packs.

Winston walks through the doorway of this beer-can-infested frathouse and into a cozy, little winter scene. All the fratboys are gathered around the TV set.

“What the hell is everybody doing,” says Winston.

Could this be some sort of satanic ritual? Has a religious fanatic taken over the minds of these young men? Is it that long-awaited new Samantha Fox video? Of course not. Keep reading.

“Shut up, man! It’s “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas,” says Winston’s study buddy, Chuck (don’t tell me you’ve never met a fratboy named Chuck.)

“Oh, my God! I forgot! What did I miss?” Winston’s now dispassionate about going to the library.

Why are these boys glued to the set? Look around you this December. Everyone else will be, too. College students love these Christmas shows. Call it regressing, call it a tension breaker, call it what you want. It’s almost as hard to tear college students away from these shows as it is to tear them away from free booze. Almost.

This brings me to why I call it the “Grinch’s Dog” theory. (I’m banking you’ve been on the edge of your barstool waiting anxiously for me to get back to that.)

Well, perhaps the favorite and most lovable character of all these shows, aside from Rudolph of course, is that little, top-heavy dog who pulls the Grinch’s sled. Of course, he isn’t naturally top-heavy. The Grinch straps those big antlers on his head. For me, this little guy just seems to embody the whole Christmas show genre.

Don’t worry. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I think it’s good that in our get-it-done-fast world we can sit back every so often and enjoy the lighter side of life.

As Winston and Chuck head out of the frathouse after “the Grinch” is over, someone calls back to them.

“Hey, where are you guys going? It’s time for Frosty.”

“Frosty!” They scream in unison.

Book bags are chucked toward the stars in the cold, night air as the boys race each other to the TV.

Well, I guess it is possible to get too much of a good thing. Hmm. No, it isn’t.