Human nature demands recognition.

I guess that’s why there are always so many award/recognition ceremonies during this time of year. And these gatherings are a nice way to show some gratitude to those who have busted their butts all year long.

They’re also a nice time to recognize those who have contributed to their cause just a little bit more than the next guy. You know, giving “nice jobs and congratulations” to those who epitomized the “give 110 percent” attitude.

But, these are also the times that people who have really tried to do their best hope to be recognized for SOMETHING, but unfortunately, are not.

I think that’s what is funny about human nature. There are always some people at the banquet who are disappointed, and a little bit upset, that they were not recognized. And after the ceremonies are over, they are a little bit ashamed of what they felt and thought earlier, but still think they deserved to be noted for their work and accomplishments.

So, with that in mind, I thought I would continue the end of the year doldrums and recognize those persons who REALLY deserve to be recognized. Remember, my kinder and gentler readers, it’s all in good fun.

The awards, as you might have guessed, primarily center around campus pseudo-celebrities. So please hold your applause until the end—thank you.

Student Association Vice President Gregg Bliss gets the nod for the only one that even had a vague idea of what was going on in the SA this semester. Bliss was the new-computer-system guru, and if figures needed to be obtained, he was the guy to talk to—or rather to be talked at from. Besides, his militaristic, condescending nature was almost fun to deal with. So Gregg gets the nod for the best SA exec in a military fatigue costume.

Going along the SA lines, to leave Joe Annunzio out would be a disgrace. This perrenial award winner was not as flashy this year as he was in the past, but he must be given some credit. His title/role in the SA was different at each senate meeting, but, then again, so was his stance on whatever issue the SA was indecisive about. Joe gets the nod for the Eddie Vrdolyak look-alike award winner.

In the ever-present controversy of whether those students living on campus dwell in “dormitories” or “residence halls” deserves at least some recognition. To me, an avid dweller in these luxurious shoe boxes, I don’t understand why the staff there gets all bent out of shape when the housing terms are exchanged. I was told that a residence hall provides various activities that a dormitory does not, but Webster (you know, the old guy who writes the dictionaries) says the terms are the same.

But, being the honest and respectful fellow that I am, Residence Assistants Jon Dehlin and Dan Modaff get the nod for this year’s best RAs. What did these fine and upstanding NIU employees do to deserve this honor? Well, they kept my back out of trouble more than a few times, and if you think others are far more deserving—tuff. I’m the one agonizing over the multitude of candidates, not you. Besides, now I don’t owe them a favor anymore.

And, for the creme de la creme, the entire SA needs to be congratulated for putting up with Sen. Gary Stittgen. Gary was a runner-up to Annunzio, but his award-winning qualifications literally scream to be recognized.

The ever-hopeful Washington, D.C. job hunter did all sorts of simply weird things for NIU under the banner of accountability. Although considered by most of his political science classmates to be a fascist, Gary gets the nod for the most hopefully unlikely to succeed. Government is already to difficult to understand, it doesn’t need Gary’s philosophies to cloud the issue.

Actually, I changed my mind, Gary did do a good job in the dunk tank at Springfest. Do you think we can get him a tryout at a circus?

To the winners, please, be humble. To those not recognized, better luck next time.