Just wonderin‘….

If Chicago Cubs manager Don Zimmer’s nickname is “Popeye,” doesn’t that make his sidekick, Jim Frey, “Wimpy”?

When the ECAC North Atlantic Conference holds its postseason tournament, wouldn’t the most obvious site be NIU’s very own Chick Evans Field House? Conference officials have announced that the tournament will be held without any fans because of a measles outbreak at two of the league’s schools. What better place could there be for such an event, considering the fact that basketball fans have avoided the place all season?

Was Charles Oakley really the NBA’s second-best rebounder last year, or was he merely the recipient of a lot of bricks from his former Chicago Bulls teammates?

Is it just me, or are the women’s athletic teams completely dominating the NIU sports scene? Let’s see, the last time I looked….the women’s volleyball team won the North Star Conference tournament with a 22-8 overall record and closed the season with 13 straight wins….the 1988 women’s softball team placed seventh in the NCAA National Softball Championships and finished the season at 35-11….the women’s field hockey team finished their season at 15-3-1….and the women’s basketball team is hoping for a bid to the NCAA postseason tourney on the strength of a current 21-5 overall record and 12-1 in the NSC. Come on fellas, it’s time to start pulling your own weight. The gals are beating the pants off of you, in a manner of speaking.

How come my 10-year-old nephew can shoot free throws better than the average NBA player?

To all you bleeding hearts out there who have found it necessary to rally behind Tom Landry because he was fired on Sunday, I say it’s about time you woke up. The fact is, the ash-canning of the 64-year-old former Cowboys sideline statue only served as further proof of the oldest reality of American business: “It’s not what you know, but who you know.

And, while I’m on the subject, who did new Cowboys owner Jerry Jones think he was kidding when he told Dallas reporters that Jimmy Johnson, Landry’s replacement, will be “the greatest thing that is going to ever happen to the Cowboys.”

When Los Angeles Lakers coach Pat Riley commented earlier in the week that the Boston Celtics lacked a guy who could “get funky,” is it possible that he was talking about injured forward Larry Bird? Bird is a lot of things, Pat. But funky?

Big 10 Commissioner Wayne Duke wins the quote of the week award with his rebuttal of ESPN color man Dick Vitale’s comment about how bad Big 10 officiating is: “Officials are the only ones in the world who are expected to start out being perfect and improve as they go along.”

Do the porkers who woof down three Big Macs, two large fries, and an apple pie really think a Diet Coke is going to make that much of a difference? Who are they trying to kid?

Is that annoying smirk on Detroit Pistons’ forward Rick Mahorn’s face permanent, or will it suddenly disappear when the Cleveland Cavaliers rip them in the playoffs?

Rumor has it that Mr. Ed is involved in the scandal surrounding thoroughbred racing and horses testing positive for cocaine. Wilbur has been subpoenaed to testify.