“To this day, I still wake up with nightmares and relive the whole experience,” says Karen (not her real name), a 21-year-old NIU senior who was assaulted by a friend in October 1987.

The physical scars of sexual assault heal, but the emotional damage victims suffer might last the rest of their lives.

Mary Van Valkenburg, a doctor with NIU’s Counseling and Student Development Center, said sexual assault victims can go through several different stages of emotional trauma after their experience, including guilt, low self-esteem, denial and anger. The condition is referred to as Rape Trauma Syndrome.

Van Valkenburg said victims initially experience an “acute stage,” and might not appear to be affected.

She explained that victims might be in a state of shock, try to deny what has happened or even be “flippant” about the assault. Other victims might be very expressive about their experience and cry or become hysterical.

“Just because someone is reacting that way doesn’t mean they haven’t been sexually assaulted. It may just be the person’s defense and way of dealing with it,” she said.

Victims might also experience a sense that they have lost control of their lives. Van Valkenburg said it is important to believe the victim and not to “pass judgment.”

Karen, in dealing with the attitudes of other people toward her experience, said, “Under the law, the man who raped me is considered innocent until proven guilty. To everyone else, I am considered guilty until proven innocent.”

“A lot of people, in their ignorance, place blame on the victim,” Van Valkenburg said. The initial reaction of family and friends can either encourage or discourage a victim from seeking help, she said.

Blanche McHugh, coordinator of NIU’s Sexual Assault Response Team, said, a “loss of control” is very common among the victims she sees, particularly if the victim knows her attacker.

She said victims not only feel a sense of physical violation, but also a violation of emotional trust of themselves and others. It then becomes important for the victim’s family and friends to listen to, be supportive of and believe the victim, McHugh said.

“The important thing is to not take over. Sometimes, as friends (of the victim) that’s what we want to do.” But believing the victims and allowing them to gain a sense of control over their lives—rather than making decisions for them—can be critical to their recovery.

“The chances of either not being a sexual assault victim or not knowing a sexual assault victim are practically non-existent,” McHugh said. Studies conducted by the Rape Treatment Center at Santa Monica Hospital in Santa Monica, Calif. and Ms. Magazine estimate nearly one-fourth of all college women have been or will be sexually assaulted by the time they graduate.

McHugh explained that victims might be reluctant to talk about their experiences with others because of their pre-conceived notions about how others will view their experiences. She explained that victims might be less likely to discuss their assaults with someone who might think they were responsible for their own assaults.

“If this rape victim was my friend, and I wanted her to feel like she could come to me, then I have to start thinking today, right now, what I believe about acquaintance rape victims and what I say about them.”

Sue, not her real name, is a 19-year-old NIU sophomore who was sexually assaulted by a man who lived in her residence hall. “The hardest thing to do is tell someone, because that means you have to relive the assault all over again. And when someone else blames you, or even doubts you, you fall back into those feelings. And that can be more painful than the assault itself,” she said.

While McHugh and Van Valkenburg agree that professional counseling for victims is crucial, medical attention is a priority.

Beverly Beetham, assistant director for the University Health Service, said the health center offers immediate medical treatment to examine victims for physical harm, test for possible pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases and collect evidence if the victim should choose to prosecute.

She said that often a victim’s knowledge that she is medically and physically unharmed can help her recovery. But Beetham said counseling is still important for a sexual assault victim’s long-term recovery.