Once upon a time there was my cousin, Ken.

Ken was a sophomore at the University of Wisconsin at Madison in the cold, wintry December of 1982, when this little story took place.

My cousin and the two friends with whom he lived were having rough times that month. Finals week loomed before them. Papers were due, rent payment for their house was a few days late, bills were piling up on the kitchen table—the whole shbang.

Ken and Co. kept up with these end-of-the-semester challenges as best they could, furiously typing term papers and paying off bill by bill. They were running out of patience and had already run out of money when they suddenly noticed something else dwindling away: their grocery supply.

Faced with the prospect of starving during finals week (only a week before they could go home to mom’s cooking), Ken and friends did what any hungry college student would do. They got devious.

Several Madison residents heard a trio of voices, Christmas caroling outside their front porch steps one evening. Upon opening their doors, the Madisonians found three gaunt college sophomores with outstretched hands, begging for table scraps. Most doors were immediately shut. (Ken did, however, get a paper plate full of mashed potatoes from one kind lady.)

Undaunted, the three headed for a university blood drive the next day. After donating a pint each, they helped themselves to a table full of donuts, cookies and orange juice. Their lives were saved, and all lived happily ever after.

Questions: 1. Is this a true story? Most of it.

2. Where is this column heading? Straight to my soapbox. Hold on while I climb on top of it.

Okay. What I’d like to do is give you a bazillion reasons why you, too, should donate to area blood banks. I feel qualified to act quasi-authoritative about this subject because, as of yesterday, I’m the veteran of nine donations.

Nine donations really isn’t a lot, especially during a period of more than three years. Many donors give every eight weeks, which is the safe amount of time to wait between donations.

But back to the reasons. I’ve already illustrated one for you with the story of my cousin—hunger. Hopefully you won’t have to resort to the same, but those blood drive donuts are zingers.

Come to think of it, the only other reason to give blood is an obvious one. Donations are needed very much by the blood banks.

What if a relative or good friend were involved in a car accident and required a blood transfusion? You would hope the hospital had the necessary blood supplies to help out. It really is a matter of life and death, every day.

Many people don’t give blood because they “hate needles.” I think I speak on behalf of all blood donors when I say, “Guess what? We ALL hate needles!”

Yep, needles rank right up there with pit bulls and papercuts in my book. But it really is easy to overlook hatred of The Needle when you find that donating blood is painless and quick. It only takes about a half-hour to go through the whole donation process, with registration and all. And you can’t get AIDS, cuz the needles are clean.

Look, the food is good, the cause is noble, and the surroundings are relatively comforting. Some of those nurses should be stand-up comedians; they put you at ease for the short while you’re on that table.

The Heartland Blood Center in Aurora has this bad habit of coming to NIU often to take blood donations for people who are sick or in car accidents. It doesn’t look like they’re going to break this habit anytime soon, so why not visit them the next time they’re in town and donate a tiny little pint of blood? The cause is too good to pass up.

And if you do donate for the same reason as Ken, don’t tell anyone your reason. Just give, and look like a kindhearted, caring person.