How many of you out there in the Big Blue Marble are just about sick of the 1988 Presidential Election news and are ready to get on to the more important facets of life like Bears football and happy hour?

Well, before we dismiss this issue altogether, let me share with you just one or two brief scenes from the darkside of election day—behind and before the polling booth curtain.

In the Responsible Voters category:

Once again, the essence of apathy, confusion and well-meant but badly placed pin holes haunts us in the surrounding Chicago and DuPage precincts. The Chicago Tribune reported Wednesday that thousands of DuPage County residents showed up at the polls to put forth their input towards the selection of Illinois House and Senate leaders.

Unfortunately, they voted for the wrong people entirely because some kooky character delivered the wrong ballot books to the wrong polling places. Evidently, residents received ballots for candidates in state Senate District 25 and state House District 50 when they should have been voting for Senate District 21 and House District 41.

Not too surprisingly, nobody noticed. And we thought we learned something from Lyndon LaRouche!

In the “I heard a ruuuumor…” category:

Rumors are circulating that some person(s) tried to pull one over on the black community in Chicago. As the story goes, some highly creative, scandalous Bush supporters are said to have distributed flyers among members of the black community which led them to believe that the Rev. Jesse Jackson was still a viable candidate in the election.

These voters were told that all they had to do to cast their vote for Jackson was punch out one, specific number. This number, reportedly, turned out to be the straight Republican ticket option. Sneaky…very sneaky.

We can only hope that this is indeed a rumor, or a bad joke. Even then, there’s still hope that these voters were more informed than their DuPage counterparts and didn’t fall for the misinformation. Then again, we’re not exactly batting a thousand in the informed-voter ballpark, are we?

In the “To laugh or to be Appalled?” category:

It seems that more than one group of Republicans was on the rampage, trying in whatever fashion possible to sway voters away from the polls.

The tragedy occured outside the polling place at 149 W. 73rd St. sometime Tuesday morning and resulted in the death of one, impassioned victim of society who was leading a pack of his friends in chasing voters away from the polls.

Suddenly, the disturbed party charged at officer Clark Cambell and was shot, point blank, in an act of self-defense.

Who was the young rebel? We may never know—we can only guess. It might have been Rex, or Fido, or King, Biscuit, Rover or Scruffy. That’s right, this rebellious leader, along with his pack of strays, were all members of that lesser species we call canines.

Whose to blame for this tragedy? This too, we may never know. All we have to go on is the statement by Lt. Michael Boyle of the Englewood District who concluded, “The dog was a Republican, and this is a heavily Democratic area.”

So, seriously, how many of you who voted Tuesday sort of felt a chill of power and freedom ripple through your body as you closed that curtain around you and offered up your vote for President of the U.S. of A.?

Yeah…me neither. But the die has been cast and now we must roll with it, or so the saying goes. Soon it will be “President Bush.” Hmmmm.

For now, it’s Friday. Impersonators all over the country are brushing up on their Bush renditions and Dukakis supporters everywhere, along with dog lovers all over the Chicago area, are in deep mourning. All we can do now is pray.