Recently, the procedures by which the Campus Security Advisory Board is being run has been criticized by The Northern Star and by some CSAB members, including myself. Gosh, perhaps we all have been a bit hasty in judging as reflections of laziness, incompetence and gross negligence those procedures that, in fact, are quite innovative. I’ve picked up some really neat ways to run a committee and keep other members off my back. Like, wow, man, consider these:

. I will simply make myself inaccessible to members and ignore their calls and memos.

. I will call meetings, but not notify members.

. If I do have to notify members of meetings, I will call meetings, then cancel them, and notify members of the meetings after they are canceled.

. I will require that an agenda be set in order to hold a meeting, but I will not take any agenda items.

. I will define the purpose of the committee as I see fit.

. If anybody ever actually manages to slip some business into the committee, I will simply say “the matter’s resolved,” even if it wasn’t.

I am appreciative for the lessons I’ve learned about running an NIU advisory committee, and am confident that as I apply this logic to classes and other committees, I, too, will become an exemplary member of the university community.

Jim Thomas

faculty member, CSAB