“When people think of homosexuals, they imagine them meeting in the bathroom and having sex in two minutes. They don’t exchange names and feel no emotion,” said Paul Schmig, co-president of the Gay/Lesbian Union.

Minority discrimination has been, and still is, a controversial issue both on and off campus. The homosexual population at NIU is one minority group often faced with negative connotations and misconceptions. Schmig said there are many stereotypes gays have to deal with.

Ignorance and lack of understanding are what Schmigg said cause these misconceptions. Georgene Abbott, co-president of the GLU said there are many people she does not understand. She said even straight people do not understand and accept each other. “It’s not necessary to understand people to get along with them,” Abbott said.

Tim (first names have been used to protect anonymity), a member of the GLU, said even he had trouble accepting being gay. He said he always thought, “gay is not right.” He said, “I always felt like I was a different person than everybody else. I led a different life than my brothers. I spent more time with my mom than my dad.”

Tim said, “I always thought gays were in a different community. They were in a different country than I was.”

Another GLU member, John, said, “I was scared and lonely and I also didn’t like myself.” John’s uncle died from AIDS. After John and his mother visited him in the hospital, she told him to talk to his uncle’s doctors if he was considering a gay lifestyle. John said his mother has accepted his lifestyle, but they do not talk about it.

Tim said, “My mom was extremely negative toward it.” He said after he told his mother he was gay, she couldn’t go into his room for four days because she said she would go crazy at “the loss.”

e said his mother expected him to be the perfect son who would marry the perfect wife. “She had this perfect image and then I just popped it, and it was so easy to pop because it was just a big fantasy,” Tim said.

“I was about to tell her, ‘listen, if you can’t accept me, your son, for who I am, who I want to be, a lifestyle that makes me sane and content, how can you possibly tell me you love me?'” Tim said.

Schmig decided he would tell his mother he was gay while he was home on leave from the Army. He said every time he started to tell her, something would interrupt. Before he left, he left her a book about parents of gays. His mother wrote later saying he probably was gay because he was in the Army, surrounded by men. Schmig said he had in fact just come to accept that he was gay at that time.

Abbott said, “My mom said she’d known I was gay since I was three years old, and the only thing I could think of to say to that was, ‘Well, why didn’t you tell me?'”

GLU member Marc said his sister is the only person in his family who knows he is gay. He said he built up a big story and then “squeaked-out” that he was gay. His sister said, “That’s it? I’m liberal!”

Karen, who is straight, said she never had a negative attitude toward gays. “My first reaction wasn’t, ‘Oh, this person’s gross,’ it was, ‘Oh, this person’s different,'” Karen said.

Peggy, who also is straight, said she grew up thinking everyone was just like she was. “No one’s different than I am still, they just have different preferences than I do,” Peggy said.

Abbott said she wrote one of her good friends from high school after they had both gone to college. She decided to tell her she was gay. Her friend wrote back saying, “I think you’re crazy. Have you ever tried it with men? It’s great! You’re nuts.”

Marc said, “It doesn’t really bother me that I lose these people, because they were never really friends to begin with.”

Tim said he was at a bar with his boyfriend when a heterosexual couple saw them holding hands and the man said, “Look, look at the fags!” Tim then pointed and said, “Look, look at that couple! Breeders!” He said it really bothered that couple that he defended himself. He said, “The truth hurts until you accept it yourself.”

Tim said the GLU is a support group for anyone, gay or straight. “If you have any questions about yourself, and you don’t know who to turn to, turn to us. We are not going to brand you; it’s a very discreet organization,” Tim said.

Abbott said, “It was really comforting to know that there are people out here who would accept me.”

“I was about to tell her, ‘listen, if you can’t accept me, your son, for who I am, who I want to be, a lifestyle that makes me sane and content, how can you possibly tell me you love me?'”

Tim, GLU member

It doesn’t really bother me that I lose these people, because they were never really friends to begin with.”

Marc, GLU member