Naming drinks can be a catch 22. Either you come up with something that describes it perfectly but makes you sound like a jerk, or you go with something generic like Grapefruit Gin Spritzer which sounds like it belongs at a book club.

It’s even more of a pain when you’re trying to name something with absinthe in it (or in this case, Pernod which is the O’Doul’s of absinthe). Lord knows if the name doesn’t have the words green, fairy or devil in it that some fedora-topped mouth is going to yammer on for an hour about how you’re not appreciating a culture neither of you know nor care about.

So I went with The Pastel. Does it sound kind of pretentious? Sure. But find me a drink that doesn’t, and I’ll point you to the nearest student who’s probably drinking it via plastic squirt gun. It’s a drink with something vague pink and green in it. And those are pastel colors, so there you have it. The Pastel. No, I don’t think Manet drank this stuff, I just took the tenuous grasp my dichromatic (it’s a kind of color-blindness) self has on colors and winged it.

Don’t try to order it at a bar yet. You might get some looks and not the good kind.

Here’s what you need:

– 2 oz. gin

– 1 dash dry vermouth

– 1 dash Pernod

– Top generously with Pink Grapefruit Perrier

Here’s what you do:

Get a rocks glass, and put a few ice cubes in there. Add gin, vermouth and Pernod in that order.

Now there’s a few important reasons why you’re not getting all Roger Moore with this and shaking it up. First, if you put fizzy stuff in a shaker and shake it, it’s going to explode all over your face. Second, that fizzy stuff will do the mixing for you. Once you pour it in and start drinking, the bubbles will move everything around until all the ingredients are just where they need to be. Third, shaking up drinks that don’t have anything non-alcoholic in them (i.e. juice) makes them taste like crap. Leave the foam for the fruity stuff.

You can shuffle up this week’s track as much as you want, though. It’s Amerigo Gazaway with its take on music from Yasiin Bey(also known as Mos Def) and Marvin Gaye. Check out “Living For The Funk feat. Toshi:”