I’m a hypocrite.

Yes, despite the (no doubt sparkling) image of me you have in your head, it turns out I’m absolutely full of crap. Because for years I’ve railed against the pink-tinged nightmare elixir of the spring break gods: the Red Bull and vodka, a drink so bad it doesn’t even deserve a name, just a list. And even though most of the reason I hate it is because it tastes like gasoline and cough medicine, the other reason is that it combines high levels of caffeine with alcohol, which sounds like a perfect way to conclude an exciting night of fun out on the town with the violent ejection of your entire stomach.

And yet, I go and make a drink that’s made up of two parts caffeine and one part alcohol, the exact same horrible-sounding proportions as the aforementioned drink-strosity. Granted, the flavors in this one actually pair together instead of tasting like the linoleum in a Denny’s bathroom, but I think that still makes me a halfway-hypocrite. Either way, I’m still gonna drink it.

Here’s what you need:

– 1 part root beer

– 1 part cold-brewed coffee concentrate (Trader Joe’s has it, and it’s delicious, so get it)

– 2 parts bourbon

Here’s how you do it:

First, fill a cocktail shaker with ice, and a rocks glass with more ice.

Pour in the coffee concentrate and bourbon, give it a good shake, and pour it into your glass.

Top with the root beer, and sip away.

Double-top it with this track from The Stuyvesants. It’s “Strollin’”:

See you fellow hypocrites next time.