I was reading the most recent issue of Cosmo the other day, and one of the articles was “12 Ways to Piss a Girl Off.”

Anyone who knows me personally could tell you I find that sort of statement hilarious—I mean, what’s so different about the things women get mad about and things men get mad about?

So naturally, I read the article. The article was based off the Twitter trend “#HowToPissAGirlOff,” and after I read the article, I checked out the trend page on Twitter.

Some of the women’s answers were so stereotypical of the gender: “Tell her to calm down.” “Make her feel like an option when she should be a priority.” And so on.

A little background information about myself: Yes, I have some female tendencies. I also thoroughly enjoy the gender-mindset barrier and stories that reflect those barriers. I also have a lot of friends who are dudes, and the female friends I have also have some dude tendencies, like expressing a hatred of dressing up.

So, while I was looking through these tweets, I loved just how whiny and ridiculous some of them were. I mean, for example, one says, “Don’t let her drive your truck.” Yeah, he probably doesn’t trust you with his truck because A) that’s his insurance at stake, and B) you might actually be a terrible driver and there’s probably a reason he doesn’t trust you with something as expensive as that.

“Making her wait for you too reply back.” First of all, if you’re old enough to be on Twitter and have an adequate command of the English language, you should be old enough to understand the difference between to/too/two. Second of all, have some patience, dude. He could be buying you presents and you’re just making yourself look like an ass—you don’t know. But if you’re really that high-maintenance and self-absorbed, maybe you wouldn’t know. I could understand being mad about your dude not answering you when he was the one who asked you for a favor, but if it’s just arbitrary conversation, just do yourself a favor and let it go.

Then there were a few that I thought were hilarious. For example: “Pee on her walls and blame her puppy because you’re the main priority and the puppy needs to go.” That’s just pure gold. And the dude who tweeted that was named Jake. I really, really hope that was meant to be a sarcastic tweet. It might even be funnier if he was serious. How do you think of something like that?! Genius.

Or, being a baseball enthusiast myself, I thought this was funny as well: Baseball Douchebag tweeted, “Tell her softball is easier than baseball.”

This one in particular is kind of horrible, but it’s funny for me because I know I’m no angel when nature runs its course: “When she’s angry with you and you say ‘period.’” That’s just the kiss of death to say that if you’re a dude, and only an idiot would think it’s a good idea to say it to any woman, no matter how chill the woman generally is.

The rule goes like this: no uterus, no opinion. It’s funny how even some men in political office think they’re above that rule. Maybe this is why the democrats have been winning lately.

Basically, I find it funny when people take feelings way too seriously, and that seems to be the general faux pas of the female population. I’ve always found a snide comment back to suffice, personally.