See, this one time, I spilled coffee on myself during a job interview. I’d like to think this will never happen again.

But I know better. We all know better.

We would all like to think we’ll never fart in public or Freudian-slip during a presentation or get part of our jacket stuck in a revolving door and hold up foot traffic and maybe a fire truck comes for some reason and the firefighters have to help you out.

Awkward things happen, and we all need to raise our threshold for sustaining those wrinkly moments.

Too often, my friends and acquaintances whine, “that was so awkward,” when, really, it wasn’t.

The scenes of our lives aren’t going to seamlessly transition. Our banter won’t always be rhythmic or witty. Life isn’t like a romantic comedy in which our seemingly-awkward moments are actually perfectly timed and executed to endear us to the audience and our leading lady/fella. You don’t just accidentally smush a three-tier cake all over the front of someone’s business suit and fall in love.

Life is more like those CosmoGirl embarrassing stories in which Jenny H., 14, from Tampa, gets her period, like, totally in front of her crush. Except its much, much more horrible. Like calling your professor “mom.” On your period.

In these situations, just relax. I’m not saying it’s not going to get difficult. Your greatest fear may come true: It may get quiet. You’ll be tempted to relieve your discomfort by proclaiming the Prayer of Uncomfortable Moments: “Awkward silence.”

But refrain. Some of us are enjoying a comfortable silence, and you needn’t disclose your every discomfort to those who have accepted their fate as blundering human beings in an uneven world.

During my java/job incident, I don’t know if the interviewer noticed my coffee spill because he pressed on with questions. I, however, was less than couth and fumbled my next response (don’t worry – my crush, like, totally wasn’t there). If I hadn’t felt awkward or embarrassed or worried about whether the interviewer was thinking about how clumsy I was, I probably would have more gracefully kept my cool. Thankfully, my white skirt had a pattern of flowers – coffee-colored flowers. It picked up my slack.

So, relax your thumbs and put your awkward turtles away.

Next time you call someone the wrong name or a conversation lulls, just breathe. Let the moment pass. It’ll be OK, I promise.

Just be the smooth to the jagged, the tranquil to the chaotic, the coffee-colored-flower-patterned-skirt to the coffee-spilling world around you.