At some point, nearly every student that has attended a university will have at least one roommate. And roommate disagreements, squabbles, Mortal Kombats and beer pong challenges are usually inevitable. As much as I have learned here in studies of communication, one thing has emerged as crystal clear: Most people are awful at communicating.

This can cause serious problems with roommates as the most common fights usually have to do with things like taking out the trash, doing the dishes, who’s responsible for what bill, arguing about what temperature to keep the thermostat at or generally just cleaning up after yourself.

It should be stated upfront that most people in roommate situations who may be doing something to upset you as their roommate are more than likely not doing it on purpose. Most of us probably had chores growing up that included dishes and trash, and we probably all disliked doing them. Now that we have our own places, the desire to become complacent about cleanliness can be overwhelming. However, I think we can all agree that no one enjoys living in a garbage-filled apartment.

Also, most people do not desire conflict whatsoever, so rather than ask another roommate to take out the trash once in a while, one roommate will usually do it every time. Simply put, “saving face” can be applied to this situation.

I asked Mary Lynn Henningsen, associate professor of communications, why most people might choose the strategy of just taking out the trash or doing the dishes every time rather than even bothering to ask his or her roommates to do their fair share.

“By doing the chore him/herself, the roommate is making sure that the chore gets done but is not interfering with the negative face of the other roommate,” said Dr. Henningsen.

Avoiding conflict is always a good idea. However, if you’re like me, you’ll keep getting annoyed that you have to keep taking out the trash and explode on your roommate at an inappropriate time. They will most likely have no idea why you got so angry with them, because once again, their actions are not malicious.

Another thing to avoid if you do decide to talk to roommates about a problem you may be having with them is making it about them. Don’t say things like, “When you don’t do this, it makes me want to punch you in the kidney.” Instead, try something like this: “Hey, I’ve been taking the trash out quite frequently recently, would you mind doing it once in a while?” or “Would you mind at least putting your dishes in the sink when you are done with them? I want the place to be as clean as possible when we have guests over and I’ll make sure that I do the same.”

This is a good way to handle things, and you will likely get a positive response. Once you get that positive response, end the interaction and go about your business as usual. Stating and re-stating the problem over and over is only going to do one thing: annoy your roommate. I have been in this situation and I understood my roommates’ issue, informed them that it would no longer be a problem and wanted the conversation to end, but they didn’t. They kept restating the issue and why they wanted to talk to me about it, and at points they seemed almost apologetic for bringing it up.

So you want to make sure you don’t look like a jerk, but honestly, you’re more likely to come off as annoying if you keep saying the same thing over and over when you’re roommate has clearly stated that they have heard and understood you. So in a nutshell: Address the problem politely, directly and then end the interaction without repeating yourself three or four or 12 times. And always make sure that when you ask your roommate to do something to help out around the residence hall, apartment or townhome, that you do your fair share as well. The place you live in will be cleaner, and you’ll all get along better if you stick to these simple principles.