Imagine waking up in a hospital and not knowing what your name was, let alone that you have a wife, son and daughter.

NIU alumnus Scott Bolzan was 46 and had no memory, from proposing to his wife on NIU’s campus to raising his children.

Scott, along with his wife Joan, spoke at the Duke Ellington Ballroom Thursday night about how Scott’s memory loss inspired them to share their story so people can seize opportunities and not “fold” when facing adversity. The presentation was based on the couple’s book, “My Life, Deleted: A Memoir.”

Scott said his accident “wasn’t glamorous.” He slipped on an “oily substance” in his office’s restroom and split his head open.

Scott suffers from retrograde amnesia. Having this condition means he can’t remember anything prior to his accident.

“I may have been deleted, but I am not defeated.” Scott said. “I’m proud to say that I’ve fallen in love with my wife all over again.”

Scott recalled when he came home from the hospital and looked in the mirror for the first time since his accident.

“Intellectually, I knew that was me, but emotionally, I didn’t know who that person was,” Scott said. “It’s a very lonely feeling to know that you’ve been around for 46 years and you don’t know who the hell you are.”

Scott was told he used to run an aviation company. He played football at NIU and later in the NFL, but he didn’t remember any of it. Scott said he fell into a deep depression, but that all changed when a neurologist finally diagnosed his condition.

Scott said he went to his car and “cried like a baby.” Then, a “light bulb went on in [his] head” and he smiled as he turned the car on.

“For six months, I thought I was going crazy,” Scott said. “I thought nobody cared. That day I was able to go on with my life; that was the day I started living again.”

Joan said the hardest moment for her was during a visit to NIU, when they drove past Kishwaukee Community Hospital. Joan started crying, because she gave birth to a stillborn child there. Joan said she felt alone in her grief because Scott didn’t remember.

“I couldn’t share the moment with him,” Joan said. “I was grieving the loss of my husband, and he was sitting right there.”

Scott said he hopes students learn an important message from the challenges he and his wife faced.

“What I have is a second chance,” Scott said. “What you have is opportunity. My recommendation is that you take advantage of that opportunity.”

Junior psychology major Danielle Henry said she enjoyed hearing Scott’s story because she was able to put herself in his shoes.

“It’s scary to think about what it would be like to lose yourself in one day and not know who you are,” Henry said.