Elissa Vonderheide is homeless.

That does not mean she dons rags or sits on the street, begging for cash. Vonderheide searches for jobs, is a pre-nursing student at Kishwaukee College and raises her 3-year-old daughter. She lives and baby-sits for free at Hope Haven, 1145 Rushmoore Drive, a local homeless shelter, to help the other struggling women she lives with.

“I don’t like being in this situation I’m in, but it’s not a horrible thing living here,” Vonderheide said.

Vonderheide and her daughter, Aliyah, live in one of the small rooms that are attached to the shelter. Their room features two beds, two dressers, two night stands, a closet and a corner full of toys. The rest of Vonderheide’s worldly possessions are locked away in a storage facility that she will soon be unable to pay for. There’s no trace of Vonderheide’s older daughter, 7-year-old Mackenzie, in the room-Vonderheide hasn’t seen her in two years, when the girl’s father won custody of her.

At the time, Vonderheide said she had entered into a relationship with Aliyah’s father, who was emotionally and physically abusive. Though she said she initially turned a blind eye to it, her ex-husband could see the abuse and brought these allegations to court, which enabled him to win custody of Mackenzie.

Vonderheide said because of the controlling nature of her ex-boyfriend, she was unable to alert authorities of the abuse. She never sought medical help for the injuries incurred when he hit her, but she said her neighbors would call the police to report the abuse. Even then, Vonderheide said he would deny the neighbor’s allegations, and she would not speak up out of fear.

“It was part of a control thing-he told me I wouldn’t make it without him and he wouldn’t let me talk to anyone, so I had no one I could help get me through it,” Vonderheide said.

Vonderheide said her three siblings, her father and her step-mother sided with her ex-husband, Mackenzie’s father, when the couple divorced. Vonderheide’s mother committed suicide while battling breast cancer when Vonderheide was 20 years old. Because of this, Vonderheide said she had no family she could turn to for help except for a great-aunt, who continues to provide emotional support.

When Aliyah began to grow and become aware of the abuse, Vonderheide took matters into her own hands.

On Feb. 18, she took Aliyah and moved into Hope Haven. She said she had been abused for five years before she left Aliyah’s father.

Vonderheide obtained a job, but lost it when Aliyah became ill and Vonderheide couldn’t find a baby sitter. She was able to move from a dormitory with 30 women into the room she now shares with Aliyah. She does chores-cleaning and cooking-to keep the shelter in shape. Just as her mother managed to raise four children, work and yet ensured there was a home-cooked meal for dinner every night, Vonderheide said she puts great effort into providing a nice meal for Hope Haven’s residents whenever it’s her turn to cook.

She also wishes to become a nurse so she can “help the community that helped [her] mother” when she was dying.

Hope Haven offers legal services, rooms, food and counseling. Voderheide takes advantage of each of these services, but she also wishes to give back to the shelter and DeKalb.

“I know I will always come back to Hope Haven and help them out,” Vonderheide said. “I know how difficult it is to be in this situation. We’re all in crappy situations. We’re all here for a reason, we all have nothing-we’ve got to help each other.”

With the help of Hope Haven, she sought legal representation so she can one day win visitation rights and even custody of Mackenzie. With the help of Hope Haven, she has made friends with other women-homeless, yes, but they are also rebuilding their lives. With the help of Hope Haven, she has been able to attend Kishwaukee College so she can be a nurse.

To help those in similar situations, Vonderheide baby-sits for free. To help herself and her family, she attends counseling every Wednesday, focuses on her studies and plans for the future. Vonderheide said she wants more children-five or six total-and a house of her own, like she had before her divorce. Vonderheide also has a boyfriend who works full-time so the couple can build a future together.

Aliyah still has nightmares where she dreams of a man who abuses her mother-the young girl sometimes screams, “Don’t hurt my mommy,” in her sleep, Vonderheide said. But Vonderheide is certain once she moves out of Hope Haven, she will be able to succeed and build a brighter future for her daughters.

“I’ll have a good career, a house one day, a car, more children,” Vonderheide said. “I’ll find happiness. I’ve been married and had it all before. I know I can have it again.”