So, I got an e-mail a little while back that struck me as interesting.

Someone e-mailed my editor asking me to review his friend’s music. I was honored to be mentioned specifically, but I’m still not entirely sure if they wanted me to give an honest review of their friend’s artistic endeavor or if they wanted me to just take him down a peg.

Either way, I obliged, and as soon as I get a copy of the record, you’ll see my review right here in the paper.

My editor and I, over a few episodes of Squidbillies, decided that it would be a good idea to turn this into a theme at the paper.

So, this new project requires you, the students and readers, to submit me stuff to review. Do you want me to review a picture you’ve painted? I’ll do it. 

A poem you wrote, a song you sung, a show you played, a term paper you got a good score on or even the 1980 exploitation film Cannibal Holocaust–I’ll do all of that.

However, be advised that the whole thing is up for critique: your submission e-mail; the piece itself; your profile picture on Facebook; it’s all fair game. I’ll tear something apart if I think it has no merit, but if it rules, you know I’ll give it all the praise in the world.

Is this idea completely vain, shallow and self-important? Totally. So if you don’t care enough to submit anything, then I understand. That said, I set up an e-mail account for your submissions and hate mail. I hope to get something soon, or else I’ll be cursed to spend the rest of my free time reading or bettering myself.