The following needs to be prefaced with a “spoiler alert,” so if anyone hasn’t watched everything up until the end of season 4 of Dexter, they should stop right here.

Dexter is the most criminally (see what I did there?) overrated show on television. Over the last few years, I was a huge fan of America’s most popular serial killer. I was upset when reruns got bought by CBS. I read all the books, and I even bought seasons for family members, and wondered aloud if this would be remembered as Michael C. Hall’s finest work, possibly even better than his time on Six Feet Under.

The last three seasons, however, have proved that Dexter was a one-trick pony, and the story lines now are so absurd that to even get a hint of tension from the on-screen action means that either the viewer has no experience with drama, or they like watching the same series of events happen over and over again.

First and foremost, I thought having a child would be an interesting and unique character development but all that changed was Rita (played by Julie Benz) becoming an even less likable character. Rita is obnoxious, and her removal from the cast might have been interesting two seasons ago.

James Doakes was the only worthwhile character in the whole bunch, and that fact has kept everything since season two boring and uninteresting. Trailers for season five make it look like a re-hash of season two, only with Detective Quinn being the protagonist instead of the awesome Doakes. Of course, Dexter’s horse-faced sister Debra is still around, and when she isn’t seducing 70-year-old men, she is finding ways to curse and try to prove herself. Are you kidding me? That story line was boring in season one, and here we are, rehashing it over and over again.

It should go without saying that the only interesting parts of the last two seasons were their guest stars, Jimmy Smits as the district attorney and John Lithgow as the “Trinity Killer.” Outside of those characters, no story line has even been remotely interesting. Every season, Dexter thinks he meets his match and we spend 10 episodes watching him watch someone from a dark car on an unlit street. Yet time and time again, he manages to elude capture. Even if the format changed slightly, it has been too stale for too long for me to really care.

So, here we go again, Dexter fans; another season of “the dark passenger,” and painfully slow moving plots. I would never imply that people shouldn’t watch this show, but for me, it has gotten to be almost as formulaic as an episode of House. Without even seeing an episode this season, I am prepared to let you know exactly what happens: Dexter makes a mistake, violates “the code,” works to fix it, watches his kids, and kills people. He then spends eight episodes getting himself in more and more trouble, before getting out of it at the end. Maybe instead of spending 600 minutes watching Dexter this fall, instead you could pick up a book and read.