You never realize just how dangerous a college campus can be until you narrowly escape a head-on collision.

Give me a minute while I collect myself.

I have to deal with this unfortunate truth every day, for every time I decide to walk around on campus I am closer to being flattened by students on their bikes. Between their inability to freely control their bikes and their inaudible voices, every biker on campus should be considered potential killers.

I sat down with a few students who were brave enough to share their stories on the matter.

“As I was turning the corner, one boy nearly knocked me over with his bike,” said sophomore English major Tatanne Butler. “The pathway was barely wide enough for one person to walk comfortably and he just sped passed me without even saying a word.”

Sophomore biology major Tamyia Travis also came to terms with her recent encounters with rogue cyclists. “Most of them do not even say ‘excuse me,’ they expect for us to move, as if they have the [right-of-way].”

Surely one should consider common courtesy when approaching another person’s space, but for some unbeknownst reason this golden rule does not apply if you are on wheels.

Well I for one have had enough. If you are riding a bike you should obey the following rules of the road…well, of the sidewalk:

1. If you are riding your bike within 30 feet of pedestrians, you must yell the following statement repeatedly until the pedestrians acknowledge your presence: “I am not safe, I am a hazard,” This could be your bike’s equivalent to a car’s horn. Considering the distance between you and the bystanders at that point it would be pretty hard to have a collision.

2. “But what if I am surrounded?” If you are surrounded by students walking to class, you too must walk in addition to escorting your bike to your destination or until you are away from the population. This may sound like a lot but you chose to take the bike out today, so now you have to carry it around with you.

3. Register your name and class schedule, in addition to a photo, for public display. This information will brand you as a registered bicycle offender and will follow your name until graduation. Seeing as every day you risk the lives of your fellow Huskies when you decide to text on your phone or listen to music, this system is well deserved.

4. Attach an over-scaled reflector to the front of your bike. That way, in the event that the first two rules are ineffective, walking students can be alert of oncoming bikers by the large reflection of the sun in their eyes. On a side note, I would hate to be wearing glasses when passing a biker after this.

5. Perform old-style hand-turning signals when maneuvering around on campus. Actually this should not be too embarrassing, although the other rules are not embarrassing either, considering these were initially created for cyclists. And look at it this way, if people on foot do not understand what your broken-arm signal means, they would at least stop to point out how ridiculous you look, thus giving you the opportunity to safely maneuver around them.

It saddens me that we are forced to live in fear while these outlaws continue to run amuck. One day, we will be able to walk with confidence again. One day.