Revived franchises are disappointing, desperate money ploy

By DEREK WALKER

Quick, name one good movie sequel that took over 10 years to produce. Is your mind drawing a blank?

The talk of the town ­— Tinsel Town, that is — is “Toy Story 3,” and as details emerge on its release date and the super-exclusive sneak preview trailer, anticipation rightfully grows. But what are the odds the movie is actually good? At this point, I’m sure long-time fans of Disney/Pixar would accept a decent showing from Buzz and Woody, but even that would be seen as a disappointment in the realm of computer-generated cinema. No, this film needs to be great. Anything less and the rants about pointless dusting off the toy chest will flood message boards and comic book conventions alike.

It’s not that I don’t have faith in the brass at Disney, because they’ve yet to really steer me wrong (with the probable exception of “Tarzan”). It’s just that topping, equaling or coming anywhere near the first two films will be close to impossible. In fact, it would be impossible to better the first two entries, at least according to Rotten Tomatoes (100-percent rating for both “Toy Story” and “Toy Story 2”).

So, why bother? It’s the most sinful act of fanfare I’ve ever seen. Well, second most.

Not to be outdone is Harold Ramis, director of such films as “National Lampoon’s Vacation” and “Groundhog Day”: perennial classics. Now, Egon Spangler himself is in talks to take the reigns of the “Ghostbusters” franchise. The Internet Movie Database has “Ghostbusters III” slated for a tentative 2012 release — 23 years after its predecessor. By the time the movie drops, Ramis may drop right along with it as he’ll be pushing 70 along with the rest of his co-stars.

The first two “Ghostbusters” flicks were big hits, and many fans argued a sequel was required to round it all out as a trilogy. But let’s bear in mind how often that logic is sound: never. Never ever, not even close. The biggest offender of the long, unnecessary gap between similarly unnecessary movie sequels are George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, who ‘rewarded’ their viewers’ patience and dedication to “Indiana Jones” by farting into a Ziploc bag and calling it last year’s “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.” Monetarily, the thing was a success and big on the fanfare. Bringing Harrison Ford back? Way cool. But, were a bunch of CGI monkeys and Shia LaBeouf in a greaser outfit what we really needed? Rotten Tomatoes says “maybe,” with 76-percent positive reviews.

It’s worthless to argue this anymore. It’s awesome seeing old franchises revived, but, at the same time, it’s also really stupid and a most desperate money ploy. So, if your mind isn’t drawing a blank as to whether there are any good movie sequels that took over a decade to create, allow me to answer for you: no.