We can not believe that the life we had with our son so recently, for so long, is gone, changed, and is in a mode of recovery and healing. When making plans and decisions we naturally think of Dan as though he is here, yet we realize the future we anticipated with him no longer exists. “We miss our son everyday, we want him back, we don’t understand why, what are we going to do”…are emotions and emptiness we experience, wanting answers to help us heal.

We are reminded daily of the things we cherished about Dan, his energetic personality, diligent character, his routines, common sense attitude, his passion for life each season of the year playing sports, going to Cubs games, skiing in Colorado, campus and social activities, working part-time, leadership responsibilities at his fraternity, and his heart of gold volunteering for community service, always helping others. Dan loved his entire family, family gatherings, and all of his friends very much.

Dan was a finance major, excited about applying for an internship to work in Chicago for a consulting firm in summer of 2008. The resume on his computer had been updated at 12:30 a.m. February 14th, just 16 hours before he was killed.

It has been helpful to attend various Grief Support groups for recovery, healing and strength grieving the loss of our child. Compassionate Friends (www.compassionatefriends.org) is a nationwide organization for parents who loose a child for any reason, with monthly meetings to help with the emotions and pain parents go through after the death of a child. It was very meaningful to attend their national candle lighting ceremony to honor the lives of our deceased children, each parent misses very much.

What really sustains us is our faith. We believe in a sovereign God and know that we live in a world that is filled with evil as well as good. We know that God knew what was going to happen at NIU on February 14th. In our lowest moments, we are angry that God took our son home but we also are reminded of the incredible blessings we had because he was with us for 20 years. Our hearts are broken but we have the assurance that we will meet again in heaven. I know that our son had God with him in his final moments of consciousness because his girlfriend told us that he was praying the Lord’s Prayer. We have seen how God has worked through the tragedy of February 14th to bring blessing into the lives of others. God has given us a peace that comes only from knowing God, from accepting the gift of salvation made possible by Jesus and being guided daily by the Holy Spirit.

Editor’s note: These were submitted directly from the victims’ families of the Feb. 14 shootings to the Northern Star.