With just two weeks to go before the Nov. 4 election, Republican presidential candidate John

McCain announced he will replace his running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, with Joe the Plumber.

“Just as I chose Gov. Palin to ignite my campaign, so too am I choosing Joe to bring that fire back,” said McCain.

Campaign manager Kevin Wexler said McCain finally came to the decision after watching Palin’s performance on the latest episode of “Saturday Night Live.”

Wexler said the senator was distraught over Palin’s sexist portrayal of herself on the “liberal elite” show.

“McCain trampled around the room, destroying vases and tables,” Wexler said. “After the opening sketch, he tried to leave a message telling her to get out of there or else, but he couldn’t figure out who to leave a voicemail.”

McCain ordered his 23 other homes to be ransacked, said Wexler.

The GOP candidate went on Sunday’s “Meet the Press” to laude Joe’s “true Americanism.”

“Joe is just looking for the American dream,” McCain said to host Tom Brokaw. “And he’s already proved himself by standing up to Sen. Obama.”

Palin could not be reached for comment Sunday morning because she was attending “SNL”‘s after-after-after-after party, said her assistant Gayle Vaughn.

Almahir Hanut, New York Times political columnist, said the public has come to know Joe the Plumber as a public figure before he was chosen to be a public official, as opposed to Palin who “wandered out of the tundra.”

He has also been properly vetted, Hanut said.

“We know his real name is not Joe, but Samuel, he owes thousands of dollars in back taxes and is not currently a licensed plumber,” Hanut said. “Information about Palin is still trickling in slowly.”

Selma Cummings, a writer for Politico.com, said Joe’s transparency is a callback to a pre-Dick Cheney vice presidency.

After Cheney became vice president in 2001, she said the position has become much more secretive and detached from the public and Palin is trying to follow in his footsteps.

“Joe has already given more interviews in the past week than Palin has her entire vice presidential campaign,” Cummings said.

Editor’s note: This article is a work of fiction.