‘Better Know a Character’

By ORLANDO LARA

In today’s installment of “Better Know a Character,” I will be examining Franklin Delano Bluth. The Fightin’ F.D.B.!

Franklin is the street-wise, profane-spewing, consistently racist black puppet of the very white G.O.B. from the TV show “Arrested Development.”

Originally used to hip-up G.O.B.’s magic act, Franklin became an important part of the Bluth family, eventually testifying and ending the prosecution against the Bluth’s during a taping of “Mock Trial with J. Reinhold” (Michael Bluth secretly used a tape recorder inside Franklin to record an incriminating conversation with the prosecution).

To get Franklin on the witness list, G.O.B. legally adopted Franklin as his son, despite already having a son that he desperately avoids (STEVE HOLT!).

Aside from having performed with G.O.B. at one nightclub, the two released a music CD entitled “Franklin Comes Alive,” which included “It Ain’t Easy Bein’ White, It Ain’t Easy Bein’ Brown” and a cover of Bryan Adams’s “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You.” The CD failed both of their expectations as it did not break down racial barriers or become a crossover hit.

Shortly after releasing the CD, Franklin suffered a serious and life altering laundry accident. In a moment of unclear thinking, G.O.B. accidentally added bleach to the machine that was washing Franklin. The mishap caused Franklin to be “all puckered and white” and speak with a British accent.

After nearly eight months of rehabilitation, Franklin was re-dyed and able to become a productive member of society. He became a pimp named Frank for G.O.B.’s illusion-turning sister Nellie; G.O.B. did not know it was his sister before he pretended to have sex with her. And she really is not his sister.

It was also during this time that Franklin became more politically active. He has been known to wear a T-shirt that reads, “George W. Bush doesn’t care about black puppets.”

I leave you know with a portion of G.O.B. and Franklin’s new act (this is after Franklin “changed” his name to Judge and had a magazine ad surgically inserted in his mouth that gave him the ability to say “My name is Judge”):

G.O.B.: Who’s this little friend?

Franklin: My name is Judge.

G.O.B.: Whose name is Judge?

Franklin: My name is.

G.O.B.: That’s a silly name.

Franklin: Judge. My name.

G.O.B.: Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly.

Franklin: Is.

G.O.B.: Oh, now you’re correcting my grammar?