Bueller? Here.

Lawrence? Here.

Ocho Cinco? Ocho Cinco?

That’s right. If Cincinnati Bengals star Chad Johnson ever decides to have children, that will be the name on the roll call. The receiver legally changed his name to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco this past week. Why?

“Have I ever had a reason for why I do what I do? I’m having fun,” he said on the team’s Web site.

Really Chad, you did it for the fun, or for the attention? Johnson, or should I say Ocho Cinco, gave himself the nickname two seasons ago when he taped it to the back of his No. 85 jersey.

Too bad teammate and quarterback Chad Palmer ripped the moniker off before kickoff.

I guess the nickname, which is Spanish for 8-5, really never stuck, forcing Ocho Cinco to make it legal. Maybe he should have tried the Latin language. Octo Quinque has a ring to it, right?

Making matters worse, it was a nickname he created for himself. If that’s not self-obsessed, I don’t know what is.

‘Just having fun’ doesn’t justify future repercussions. Ocho Cinco is a name that his coach Marvin Lewis despises, a name that Lewis dubbed ‘Ocho Psycho.”

Perhaps Lewis will cut the receiver from his contract. After all, the contract is between the

Bengals and Chad Johnson, not Chad Ocho Cinco.

We can only pray for little Johnny Ocho Cinco.